mamajog

Highs and Lows

2011-03-14T23:10:00.000-07:00

Well, that race in February turned out pretty darn great. I did, in fact, set a new personal record - just over 2 hours, 3 minutes! Inching closer to my goal of coming in under 2 hours. I feel more confident that it will happen eventually. I'd say that about one third of the course for this race was a gentle decline, and that's probably what shaved those three minutes off my previous time... but on the other hand, it was an uncharacteristically hot day, which no doubt slowed me down a bit. So all I need to do is find a race that goes slightly downhill the whole way, and dial up a 50 degree overcast day for the run, and BOOM! 1:59:59. Easy.

Since all my buddies had to back out of that race at the last minute for various reasons, I came really close to bailing on it myself. Obviously, I'm so glad that I showed up for it, after all. It is so exhilarating to push myself that hard, and achieve a new milestone. So why, oh why, has it been so hard for me to get my running butt out the door since then? Let me tell you, it has been hard. I'd say I'm in a bonafide funk.

There are some actual reasons; I got sick a few days after the race - my first real cold of the season - and it hit pretty hard. Then I traveled to Las Vegas for several days for a photographer's convention, and although I had the best intentions of getting out for just one run, Vegas got the best of me. Then, my lingering head cold evolved into an energy-depleting sinus infection, and I'm still feeling the effects. Come to think of it, those are actually fairly valid reasons for taking a break.

But still, it seems like there is something else, something I can't quite put my finger on. Maybe a bit of rebelliousness; maybe a bit of laziness. I don't know. I dragged myself out this evening (after berating myself all day about not running the past week, not running early this morning, not running after the kids went to school... it was pretty much a running commentary in my head all day long). So finally, finally I just did the dang run. And as usual when this happens, at the end I thought, "Why didn't I just do that earlier so that my internal voice wasn't bugging me all damned day??"

I don't know, friends. I don't know. It wasn't a great run, but it was a run. And some days that's accomplishment enough.

Hiatus, sort of

2011-01-09T21:01:00.000-08:00

So my buddy Claudia twisted my arm (not really) into signing up for this race in Golden Gate Park on Super Bowl Sunday. I just thought it would help motivate me to keep getting out there to run over the holidays. Well, it worked a little, but not much. So I'm lagging. But I did manage to eek out a slow 11 miles today when I was only planning to go 8, so I feel a little better. I know I can do it, but I don't think speed will be a big factor with this one.

Recently, I've been giving all the fundraising stuff a bit of a break for a couple of reasons. First, everyone pulled out all the stops in helping little old itty-bitty Cure JM achieve the impossible - a first-place, $250,000 finish in the Pepsi Refresh project for August. (Go on, click the link... I still like to just look at it every now and then). Second, our boy Lucien has needed a lot of our attention over the past few months. (Sometimes I feel like a pendulum of urgent needs is perpetually swinging, back and forth, back and forth... first one child, then the other. Then back again.) Lately, it's been all about Lucien.

But my commitment to Cure JM hasn't wavered, not one whit. Thanks to this organization, there is now a pretty tight community of JM families, and the terrible stories of suffering continue. They make my heart ache. They remind me that, as bad as our experience has been, it could have been so much worse. And let's be frank - it still might be, because (as we know) there is no cure, only remission - and always the threat of recurrence.

I still think of these kids each and every time I run. They are still the reason I run. I'm committed for the long haul and won't stop doing everything possible to defeat this rotten disease. So enjoy the break, because soon I'll be a-knocking on your door, asking for the green stuff once again!

On skiing, and triumph

2011-01-02T20:36:00.000-08:00

We've made it something of a tradition to spend time between Christmas and New Year's in Tahoe, playing in the snow. We make snowmen, sled, drink hot cocoa, sled some more. You get the idea.

This year, however, our friends Fred and Julie really wanted to take their kiddos and Mielle skiing, and convinced me to come along. And that is how I found myself on skis again, after something like 20 years. I did a bit of skiing in high school, but that was a long time ago... and I can't say that I've had any pangs of longing in the interim. Truth be told, enough time has gone by that I actually felt a little afraid. But it felt fantastic! And, surprisingly, I got the feel for it again pretty quickly.

We took a family lesson with the kids, so most of the afternoon was spent on the uber basics, and we finally built up to snow-plowing down a very gentle slope. It was really fun and gratifying to see the kids settle in and get more comfortable on the skis, but after a bit I was really itching to do more. So when Julie offered to take the cold children into the lodge, and Fred asked if I'd like to join him on a couple of grown-up runs, I was thrilled to say YES!

We didn't have much time, and we weighed our options: a green trail, or a blue one. We debated and then decided on the green. We didn't want to get too crazy. Well, it was basically the bunny slope and while it was longer than the training slope we'd been on with the kids, it wasn't much more satisfying. We eyed the blue slope again... it really didn't look too bad... it seemed to be small, steep-ish hills with little plateaus in between. We decided to go for it.

Ignoring the huge sign that declared "This is NOT a beginner's slope", we hopped on the lift and went up, and up, and up. Well. Turns out that the part of the slope we'd seen and evaluated was just the tiniest little end part of the run; my stomach dropped as the chairlift stretched up as far as the eye could see, and the mountain got steeper and steeper and steeper. It was going to be way more challenging than we thought, and I won't lie - I was freaking out just a little. I mean, I was never that great of a skier in the first place, and it'd been 20 years, and the mountains where I grew up were nothing like this... I wasn't prepared for this!! Fred and I, we chuckled nervously and said things like "You know, you just go slow, keep making turns, and stay in control. It'll be fine." Except I remembered how easy it is to get out of control and shoot straight down the damned hill.

But, as they say, there's only one way to get down, and so we disembarked the chair lift, adjusted our gear, smiled nervously and started down. And this is what I did: I went slow, I kept turning, and I stayed in control. I was fine. I was better than fine - I was AWESOME and I was having a great time. My legs felt a little jelly-like at times, but whether that was due to nerves or simply from calling on under-utilized muscles, I don't know. It took a lot of effort and concentration, but about halfway down I was able to loosen up a little and let things fly a bit. And it was SO FUN.

Okay, all you black-diamond skiers that are reading this -- you can stop laughing now! I know that this is not all that impressive in the big picture of skiing - just as my personal record for the half marathon is not all that impressive in big picture of running - but it was for ME. I felt a huge sense of accomplishment - triumph even - for conquering that hill that was so frightening from a distance.

It's exactly the same kind of triumph I feel when I run faster than I ever have, or farther than I thought I could - and I need that feeling of triumph in my life. I need it because, every single day, there are so many things that I can't control, that I can't "triumph" over - at least, not in the way that I really want to. I can't cure my daughter's illness, and I can't make my son's disability disappear. I do everything to help them that I possibly can, and I always will - but ultimately, it's not within my power to change the fundamentals of either situation.

What I'm realizing is that stepping out of my comfort zone, doing things that feel scary (terrifying, even), and conquering them makes me feel powerful, and triumphant, and is amazingly therapeutic. So for 2011, I think my goal has to be to do more of them. Any suggestions? Better yet, anyone want to join me on some yet-to-be-determined adventures?

Big Sur Race that is not in Big Sur

2010-12-02T20:15:00.000-08:00

I ran another race in November - the Big Sur Half Marathon, which is not in Big Sur at all, but in Monterey and Pacific Grove. It was my 6th half marathon in the two years that I've been running, and I was psyched to post my fastest time yet - 2 hrs, 6 mins. That is not particularly fast in the world of running, mind you, but -- it is for me! I was thrilled.

As usual, I wasn't able to train quite as much as I'd planned, so I wasn't holding out much hope for a notable time. I just wanted to enjoy a much-needed weekend away with friends and have fun on this most spectacular and scenic race course. But when my awesome running-mate Nicole looked at her watch at the 8 mile mark and noted that if we maintained our pace through the end of the race, we'd both set new personal bests, I just thought, "hell yeah!" and went for it.

I was tickled to see my friends Carolina and Rob along the race course, and Carolina snapped the above photo. I just love it so much. She really captured the joy I felt during that race. It was so beautiful, and I so needed to run, to push myself hard physically in order to clear out my mind and refresh my spirit. It was a fantastic weekend.

Kicked that race...

2010-07-02T13:32:00.000-07:00

right where I wanted to - in the arse!

Things got off to a grumpy start when we arrived for the race. Everyone had to pick up their timing chip that morning, at the race, and it was a complete mess. Crazy lines, nobody knew what was happening, we had to split up to get in the right lines, and then suddenly it was 5 minutes before the start and I still didn't have my chip. Grrrrrr! Finally got it but then couldn't find any of my gals. GRRRRRRRRR! So frustrating! About 30 seconds before the horn sounded I did find them... so happy!

It was a pretty warm day, but we still had a bit of fog at the start and I was hoping it would stick around. I ran the first 7 miles or so with Nicole and our buddy Rebekah, but they made a pit stop and I just wanted to keep going. For the first time, I had a really specific time goal in mind - 2 hrs 15 minutes. My previous best was 2:19 in Austin, but I had never really focused on my times that much. So I figured that if I actually applied myself, and managed to avoid the porta-potty line, I could probably do it. Especially since the route is my home turf - I run it all the time - and it's flat as a pancake. So anyway, I broke off around mile 7 and ran the rest alone.

I felt pretty great for most of this race; I was still floating from all the birthday love, and during the time I ran alone I just kept thinking about Mielle, and all the amazing kids I've come to know through our experiences with JM... Dominic, Grace, Morgan, Connor, Gary, Mason, Megan, Parker, Kya, Sienna, Gracie, Brielle, Kristen, Amanda, Kendyl, Selma, Emma... the list goes on and on. I felt pretty strong but whenever it waned a little, I'd just think about those kids and it literally fueled me.

Once I was to mile 10 or so, I was sure that I would beat my goal time so I spontaneously revised it to 2 hrs 10 mins. That would be close. I chugged along as hard as I could those last three miles and felt pretty good because I was passing a lot of people; I was getting tired but at that point, it's so close... so I just kept pushing and pushing, past all the familiar landmarks of my regular runs -- up Shoreline, past Park Street, Willow, Grand, the Crown Beach parking lot with our favorite water fountain... and finally around the curvy path to the finish at Crab Cove. I still had some kick left in the end and crossed the line in 2 hrs, 10 mins, 40 seconds. I just missed 2:10 - but still - Woooo hooo! (Next time I'll try for 2:05.)

So I gotta say that the champagne sponsors totally redeemed this race, after the organizational fiasco of the "race day chip pickup"earlier. The slogan of this particular event is "I run for chocolate and champagne", but last year - by the time I finished - they were running low on the bubbly and I got about 1/3 glass. This year, things were different, and it was so nice! The champagne was flowing freely - we all had glass after glass, even the non-runners. It was so very festive! So we kicked back, waited for the rest of our peeps to come in, and then just basked in our glory for a bit. Nothing like a nice little champagne buzz on a sunny day after 13.1 miles! Sweeeeet.

Doesn't Mielle look great?

The medals were teeny tiny this year. Maybe they used the $$ they saved on extra champagne?

Gorgeous Nicole.

Hot, tipsy mamas! Awwwwwww yeah!

Race number 5!

2010-06-04T21:11:00.000-07:00

by Suzy

Tomorrow is my fifth half marathon in the 1.5 years I've been running! Let me tell you, those are words I NEVER thought I would speak! But here I am, and I'm excited, and proud.

Training was not as consistent as I would have liked, but I pushed myself to get out there even when it would have been easy to blow it off, because I really really wanted to feel prepared for this race. And I do feel prepared. My AWESOME birthday experience really gave me some mental and emotional momentum and I hope I can keep on riding that wave tomorrow! Going for a PR, people! (aka "personal record" - are you impressed with my running-speak?)

Here in Alameda we have a big local issue concerning a proposed parcel tax to fund the public schools. State funding is basically a joke these days, and it's been cut after cut after cut for years. There is no more to cut, and there is no other way to get the money than a parcel tax. So although it's not a perfect solution, many of us feel it is the ONLY solution available right now, and people have been working like mad to try and get this measure to pass. So mamajoggers felt drawn to making a statement at the race, and we'll be wearing these:

I'll wear my E with pride! But at the same time, I have to say that at my core, I'm always running for Cure JM, and my kiddos. It'll always be Mielle, all the other JM kids, and sweet Lucien in my heart, propelling me forward.

Send me good power vibes tomorrow because I want to kick this race in the arse!

Blown Away

2010-06-04T20:53:00.000-07:00

by Suzy

Okay. I asked a lot of people to sponsor me for the race in Austin in February, and many, many people did. Therefore, I did not want to ask for more so soon. However, I did want to share news about our Pip Squeak event, and the fact that Mielle is doing soooo much better these days. So I sent out this email:

Hey there - Just a quick note to tell you that Mielle continues to do well these days! We are down to very small doses of her two most troublesome drugs, and we continue to taper. She is still on some powerful immunosuppressants and even in the best case scenario, it will be sometime before she is drug-free, but she is not really suffering any side effects right now, and her strength and energy are great. We still have blood draws every couple of months, but we stopped the weekly injections a few months ago. She still sees her specialist in Chicago as well as her great doctor at Lucile Packard Children's Hospital at Stanford, and we are so grateful to be in a better place.

On the flip side, I learned of another recently diagnosed case of JM right here in Alameda. That makes three - for a disease that strikes three kids out of a million. The news hit me like a punch in the stomach. I just got really sad, because I have a sense of what that family must endure... but I tried my best to channel all those feelings into more activism for Cure JM.

So! On May 22 we held the second Pip Squeak A Go Go event (a dance party for all ages!) here in Alameda. We couldn't have gotten it off the ground without the amazing Dorinda and Bernadette - and of course, the Devil-Ettes - and we never would have pulled it off without the help of so many friends that volunteered in every way imaginable! We had rockabilly Quarter Mile Combo and go go dancing upstairs, and Cowboy Jared, shopping, face painting and raffles downstairs. It was a busy weekend with a lot of competing events, but we pulled in a great crowd and raised around $4,000 for Cure JM.

We're quickly following that up with yet another race - the See Jane Run Half Marathon right here in Alameda - coming right up on June 5! This will be my FIFTH half marathon in the 1.5 years that I've been running! To tell you the truth, the training has been kind of tough - I feel more tired this time around - but I'm determined to make a good showing. It's on our home turf, after all!

Last but not least, tomorrow (June 2) is my 40th birthday. I choose to view this as an opportunity for a fresh start - a chance to take what we've begun here and just keep on moving forward. Through my experiences with my children, my life - and I - have changed in ways I never, ever could have imagined. So. New decade, new me. I just want to take the positive and keep on - ahem! - running with it. I'd be tickled to drum up a little more dough for Cure JM for this race, and I just set up a fresh fundraising page: www.firstgiving.com/mamajog If you are in the position to help, it would be the icing on my birthday cake.

I sent it out around midnight and then I went to bed. I thought it would be AWESOME if we rustled up another $500 or so before the race.

Well. When I woke up I was floored to see that something like $1100 had been donated! Wh-aat? I was so excited that I leapt out of bed and went for a final quick training run. I was just riding the wave of love and I know it's cliche to say this, but my heart was bursting. Bursting!! (Plus, I made a new playlist with lots of awesome Queen songs - I have to say, it felt great to run down the street with my bursting heart on my 40th birthday blasting "We are the Champions"!) And it just continued on all day. I had a wonderful birthday and did lots of lovely things, and every now and then I would check my email and be delighted all over again to see another donation. It truly was the icing on my cake!

Now, the race is tomorrow and we are at nearly $2300 (and thanks, Nicole, for putting out the call to your peeps as well, and thanks to Nicole's peeps for answering!) I honestly can't believe it. Once again, I am blown away by the support we get from y'all. I feel like I say this a lot, but I hope that doesn't dilute the impact: Thank You. Thank You. From the bottom of my heart, Thank You.

Pip Squeak A Gone Gone!

2010-05-23T22:00:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the Devil-Ettes for serving up so much luv yesterday at Pip Squeak A Go Go!

And thanks to Quarter Mile Combo, Cowboy Jared, and everyone else that participated in our event. We taught a bunch more people about Juvenile Myositis and raised over $3500 to boot! More photos to come...

It's Pip Squeak Day!

2010-05-22T09:30:00.000-07:00

All the errands have been run, prizes collected, volunteers lined up, flyers printed, last-minute details locked down. We're ready for the event and EXCITED! In all the planning, I kinda forgot how much FUN it's going to be!

Here's a shot of the hard copy newspaper:

The photo features Mielle with the other two Alameda girls with JDM. Three girls in Alameda with a disease that strikes 3 kids out of a million, each year... hmmm...

Pip Squeak and Press!

2010-05-21T23:14:00.000-07:00

We've been running around frantically preparing for our big Pip Squeak A Go Go benefit for Cure JM (details). Today we managed to get a little local press, which makes me soooo happy. I just wish I could figure out how to make this story catch on in a bigger way... I'll keep trying. In the meantime, I'm excited for the event tomorrow and I hope we are able to raise loads of cash! And I'll be saying it many times, in many ways, but I may as well begin now: THANK YOU to everyone who is helping, donating, volunteering, and attending! Here's the post about last year's event...

Running Rut

2010-05-14T23:08:00.000-07:00

by Suzy

Yep, it's true. I'm in a rut, have been ever since Austin (and maybe even before). Just can't get myself back into a regular rhythm. Too much life happening, not enough sleep happening, and running buddy schedules have all completely diverged so there's been way too much solo running (yet still not enough solo running, if you know what I mean). I'm kinda dragging my arse for every run these days. Just getting out the door is the monumental feat at the moment (and it's absolutely the hardest part of the run).

I know it'll come back; it's an ebb and flow, ebb and flow. The trick is to stick it out long enough... til the flow flows once again! I'm doing my best.

"See Jane Run" is coming up!

2010-05-06T12:48:00.000-07:00

Our next race - right here in Alameda, the all-women's See Jane Run Half Marathon, is coming right up... race day June 5! Mamajoggers are doing our best to get our training in so we won't embarrass ourselves! Hope you can come out to cheer us on!

Dawn Runs

2010-05-03T13:25:00.000-07:00

by Suzy

The days are longer now, so even a 6 am run ain't as dark as it used to be (and, truth be told, I haven't been making it out for many 6 am runs lately, thanks to my boy's newly erratic sleeping patterns) but anyway... a few months ago I brought my camera with me on an early morning run. I really wanted to share how magical it can be to be out at that time, and what a treat it is to see the light change over the course of the run.

And returning home, stretching in the backyard, morning in full swing, beautiful golden light everywhere, and the view of my favorite palm tree:

Austin!!

2010-04-08T11:48:00.000-07:00

Oh shoot. I thought I had posted about Austin, but I didn't.

So. The race was hard! I didn't look too closely at the course leading up to the race, but the night before, at around 10:30, I read the little description that came with the registration goody bag. Oh no - hills! And all of them after mile 8! Noooooooo!

Have I mentioned recently that Alameda is utterly, completely FLAT? I think I could chug along for quite a while on flat ground, but hills are another story completely. We have to get in the car and drive somewhere to train on hills, and that doesn't happen too often. So I was a little thrown at this news. But actually, I'm glad I didn't know sooner - I already felt that I hadn't trained sufficiently for this race, and the knowledge of the hills just would have made me even more nervous, without increasing my ability to improve my training... at that point, it was just one of those "it is what it is" kind of things.

Anyway, it was awesome to meet up with all the other Cure JM runners in the pre-dawn hours of race day.

Shari Hume, one of the cofounders of Cure JM (first row, third from left), really likes the "fist in the air" look; the group was happy to oblige.

Then there was nothing left to do but just, well, do it. My mamajog buddies weren't able to join me on this one, so I ran with Shari for a bit but she's just a TAD more advanced in the running department (she qualified for and ran Boston!) and much faster than me, so after a couple miles she had to leave me in her dust. I ran the rest by myself, which was just fine, actually. There was plenty of entertainment along the way, both official and unofficial, and I just kept chugging along. Around the halfway mark, the Cure JM cheering section was waiting:

I finally show up, hug my girl (and my boy, and my husband), and rev up the crowd before I leave (I figured that my little parlor trick of increasing my hand to the size of a frying pan would get them really excited):

Then it was just 6.7 or so more miles of one foot in front of the other. Right as scheduled, the hills started at mile 8. Okay. Just do it. And do it again. And again. Okay, got it.

I knew I was getting close to mile 11, and I was pretty sure I'd read that course leveled out again after that, so I was getting excited... only two more miles to go, and they'd be flat... I was starting to get pretty tired so it was a welcome thought... well. Imagine my feelings when I turned a corner to see the 11-mile post, and a another big old hill stretching right on up behind it. Ugh. Okay. Just do it... and I did... gave myself another pat on the back and another "hallelujah, that must be it for the hills" moment.

Well. Clearly, my memory about what I'd read of the course was ALL wrong. After slogging along another mile, I was looking forward to sighting the 12-mile post - a most welcome sight for the half-marathoner - evidence that you're ALMOST THERE!

Well. Once again, I turned a corner, and this is what I saw:

Now, this image is small, but if you look very closely, right near the center is the 12-mile marker. And it's hard to miss the big old hill stretching on up beyond.

To the planners of the Austin Half Marathon course: this is just plain rude. Putting a big old hill this late into the race is one thing, but to map it so that the thing is heralded by the 12-mile post - normally a beacon of hope to weary hoofers - come on, really? Just. Plain. Rude.

So I moped and whined on the inside for a minute or so, then just bucked up and did it. I didn't run fast, but I did run it. No walking. And then, finally, finally! the course leveled out - even went at little downhill, I believe, although at that point I was a little too delirious to tell you for sure - curving past the historic capital building and finally FINALLY to the finish!

And it's the coolest medal I've gotten yet.

All photo credit goes to the fabulous Julie Caine, with the exception of the 12-mile hill of torture - that one was mine. Special thanks to Ms. Caine, who once again donated her image-making talents to Cure JM - you are the best! And if you want to view more photos from the race, or from the amazing Cure JM educational forums and events that took place the previous day, check out our Flikr stream. Over $180,000 was raised for continuing research of juvenile dermatomyositis... thanks once again to everyone who helped, and WAY TO GO Cure JM!!

Unexpected 12

2010-01-31T20:20:00.001-08:00

by Suzy

I had been hoping I could run today, but felt unable to fully commit (with being sick and all). Just getting out at all would have been an achievement, but if it felt ok, I thought I would try and go 5-ish, then do a long run a little later in the week - and hopefully feel more prepared for the upcoming race. But I still wasn't sure whether I'd manage to run at all today.

Felt alright upon waking, then checked in with Nicole and confirmed she would join me - and I was very pleasantly surprised when Kirsten and Steph were able to come as well. We ran around 4.5 and then the ladies dispersed for coffee, work, kids, etc. I felt I had a little more in me, so I decided to keep going on my own and see where things led.

So I kept on chugging. I felt pretty good, considering how little I've been running, and how sick I've been feeling. I just kept on.

My mind began to wander. Just before setting out, I'd received a wonderful email from dear family friends (and I hope they won't mind my sharing it):

"We think of you often, with love and prayers. Suzy, hope you are feeling stronger for your run - just imagine us and all of the people who love all of you pushing you along, giving you energy..."

So I did that - I imagined them, and all the people that love us, pushing me along and giving me energy. I thought about the donations that have been coming in, and how moved I am by the support of our family and friends, and of perfect strangers.

I thought about all the recent notes on the Cure JM message board from newly diagnosed families - heartbreaking, because I have some sense of what lies ahead for them. I thought about what a horrible time Mielle has gone through with her treatment, and about other kids that have had even worse times - much, much worse. I thought about how helpless I've felt at various times over the past two years, and how confused, and how conflicted over the terrible decisions we've had to make.

I thought about other things happening lately, in regards to my special-needs son, that make me feel overwhelmed and hopeless and paralyzed with anxiety... and somehow this all coalesced into a single solitary drive to keep on RUNNING. I thought, "hell with it... I don't care about being sick, and barely running for weeks... I'm tired of feeling anxious about it... I'm running damn 11 miles today."

Somehow, pulling this long run out of nowhere today became some kind of statement for ME - a way to regain some control. A way to say "Screw you!" to everything that is causing me to feel confused and anxious and sad. A way to affirm the love and faith that's been placed in me by everyone that has donated on our behalf. A way to honor Mielle and the other JM kids, as well as my son Lucien - to show them that sheer force of will can be powerful, and nothing is impossible.

It's kind of silly, really, because in truth, nobody's really going to know or care whether I did or didn't run 11 miles today... except, of course, ME. I'd know. And for myself, today, I needed to feel triumphant. So I ran the damn miles.

And when I hit 11, I figured one more would be even better - really get me within striking distance of the half marathon. So I kept going to 12.

It was hard, and I'm more tired and more sore than I'm accustomed to from a long run. But I did it. I'm back in the game, baby!

Lagging...

2010-01-29T22:03:00.001-08:00

by Suzy

Okay, y'all. Between traveling, and being sick, and traveling again, and the holidays, and being sick again, and traveling AGAIN, and then being really really sick, and still not better, I haven't run much lately. And I'm not exactly bursting with confidence about the next race, coming up in Austin in a mere two weeks. (ouch).

My beloved training schedule has been kicked to the curb by life. I'm not prepared. It's weird, because for quite a while there, I was doing enough miles and I knew I could pretty much knock out 10 or 12 or 13.1 at any time, not really such a big deal. I got a little used to it. I may have even taken it for granted... which is something I really, really try not to do these days - about anything - after our experiences of the past 2+ years. But there you go; we are flawed creatures and we can't help ourselves, can we?

And I'm behind in my fundraising, also. I'm trying to kick it into gear now. I'm throwing a hail mary.

I'm pretty sure that if I can get one more long run in before the race, I'll be ok. Just waiting to be healthy enough...

If anyone is feeling sorry for me, please express your sympathy with a donation! And if you don't feel one bit sorry for my whiny butt, that's fine too... please express your disdain with a donation!

Turkey Trot 09!

2009-12-23T22:43:00.000-08:00

by Suzy

Last year, we swore we were gonna get those turkey hats (check the blog entry if you don't believe me), and by gosh, we did! (It is amazing to live in a world where you can type "cooked turkey hat" into google and receive several options.)

Fierce fashionistas that we are, naturally we had to accessorize them. Everything is better when it's beadazzled!

Mielle ran with Gabe in the kids race this year... she is doing so much better than a year ago.

And they're off...

Billy, Gabe and Mielle kill time, Lenny shoots, and the mamas hoof it...

And here we come -- look at that form! So tight, soooooo pro!

Steph's not in the mood for the paparrazzi:
Kirsten and Claudia finish with a flash of white meat, just like the hat says:
And my happiness upon winning the next-to-last bottle of two-buck-chuck in the post-race raffle. Awwwww yeah.

Big Sur Half (in Monterey, not Big Sur)

2009-12-23T22:17:00.000-08:00

by Suzy

We had two last-minute disappointments right before the race in Monterey - both Steph and Nicole had to back out due to illness. Big, big, bummer. But Claudia, Kirsten, and I persevered, and had a FANtastic time. Arrived the day before the race, picked up our packets and did a little gear-shopping at the expo, checked into our room, wandered around quaint Carmel and had an amazing meal at one of my favorite restaurants in the area, The Forge in the Forest. They have a sweet outdoor seating area filed with vines and plants, fireplaces and heat lamps! Super cozy and the food is perfect.

The next day, race day, was GORGEOUS. Sunny and cool. I guess there were about 10,000 people there altogether, although I'm not sure. It was really well organized so we corralled up and started off shortly thereafter. What a glorious route... almost entirely along the coastline, and totally stunning. No real hills to speak of... fun bands playing and plenty of water stops... even some good samaritans handing out dixie cups of Coors Light at around mile 11.5. Very very very nice. We got lazy and didn't even bring a camera for the actual race, and now I regret it... but at the time, it was nice to just BE, and RUN, and not worry about documenting it. Just that once!

After the race we ate some snacks but quickly headed out in search of real food. We found it at a dark little English pub, where we loaded up on red meat, potatoes and bloody mary-s for K and C (what's the plural of bloody mary, anyway??) and beer for me. Then headed back to our hotel for hot tub and a swim (brrrr!), shower, and nap. All refreshed, we enjoyed tea in the sweet garden patio of the hotel, then headed back to Carmel to watch the sunset on the beach. Here we are:

Pretty mellow, man. The sunset was awesome. I have some pics of it, just not sure where!

Sooo, then it was a little shopping and - get this - back to the same restaurant for dinner. We felt kinda lame not going somewhere else, but it was just so good that we decided to go for the sure thing. And it was the right decision!

After all that, we were collapsed in bed and sound asleep by 9:30.

Could a day be any more perfect?

Off to Monterey

2009-11-14T08:21:00.001-08:00

by Suzy

We're headed to Monterey today for the Big Sur Half Marathon tomorrow! It's just the ladies this time - no men or children allowed - so we're all excited about a girlie weekend away. Hot tubs, yummy food, and, oh yeah - 13.1 miles!

Next Races!

2009-11-06T13:07:00.000-08:00

by Suzy

Our next race is coming right up... November 15, Big Sur Half Marathon! Yippeee!

Can't forget about the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving Day... we'll be making a fashion statement...

And then Mielle, Lucien, Lenny and I will travel to Austin to rendezvous with 50 other Cure JM families and run the Austin Half Marathon on February 14.

Just got the new fundraising page up and running...

www.firstgiving.com/mamajog

Thanks for your support!

One Year Anniversary

2009-09-30T21:04:00.000-07:00

by Suzy

Yes, the blogging has slowed down of late. When I'm running, I always think of all the stuff I want to write about, but there never seems to be time, and before long I've forgotten all those great ponderings... (Hey, I just realized that this could be a rationale to buy that new iPod nano that I truly don't need, but kinda really want, because it's so CUTE and it has a videocamera in it, for crying out loud! I could use the video camera as a voice recorder to capture all of my profound musings on the road! And then still probably NOT write about most of them!! But I digress...)

What I've been thinking about lately is my one-year anniversary of running. It's right about now. I remember, because I photographed a wedding last year on October 4, and it turned out that the bride and groom were big marathoners. I summoned up all my courage and sheepishly mentioned to them that I'd begun running - it had been less than a week and I was still in the throes of all that early embarrassment and insecurity. They were, of course, lovely and encouraging, and now I will always remember that date, and that it was a few days prior to October 4 that I began.

I'm proud, thrilled, grateful, relieved, and generally ecstatic that, one year later, I am still running.

If anyone had told me that I would ever willingly peel the covers back in the dark of pre-dawn, pull on some shorts, eat a banana and head out to run, I would have thought s/he was absolutely delusional. Yet, I did just that this morning. And I wasn't even meeting any of my fabulous mamajoggers. It was just me today, and I just got the hell up and ran, and it felt great.

I simply cannot overstate what running has come to mean to me, and how it has saved me during the hands-down most painful and challenging period in my life. Of course, it's the physiology - the endorphins, and the shifts in body chemistry - and the getting out, the breathing fresh air, the being in nature. But it goes so much deeper than I ever dreamed it would, and that is because of friendships, and community, and love.

A year ago, when I asked Kirsten and Steph if they would take pity and run with me now and then as I just started out, I had no idea that they would immediately step up and offer to actually run the Carlsbad race with me. I was so blown away that they would do that with me, and for me! And then, lo and behold, Nicole signed on, and Claudia too! The depth of their caring was overwhelming. And over the course of weeks and months of training, and long runs, and cold runs, and wet runs, our friendships became deeper, wider, and more meaningful than I ever could have anticipated. This is what running has brought to my life.

Fast forward to the next race - more wonderful women signing on. Old friends, like Barb (all the way from Seattle!) and Jan, and newer friends, like Anna and Jennifer and Debamitra, and friends of friends, like Jen and Amy. Our group was a little harder to coordinate, but it was also incredibly gratifying to continue building our community; and for me personally, it was deeply meaningful that these ladies would take up Mielle's cause.

I was giddy with the possibilities for Mamajog... I wanted it to go national! Viral! Global! I was, and still am, mesmerized by the power of this simple act: running, and using the running as leverage to raise money and awareness for a cause (not even necessarily MY cause). I still dream of growing the Mamajog idea - and I'm still "living it" in my own way - but circumstances of life have forced me to postpone my plans for world domination! (At the same time that Mielle's health has been steadily improving, my son has presented us with some special challenges as well, and he needs much of our attention at the moment).

Today I revisited the firstgiving page that collected most of our donations - all the entries, all the comments. Of course, in the moment, I appreciated each and every one profoundly, but at the time, in the heat of the fundraising drive, and the running, and all the coordination with all the Mamajoggers for the last race, it was just one of many things that were happening all at once, competing for attention. Now, in the calm of this moment, I am stunned all over again with length and depth and breadth of that list. Family, friends, people unknown to me but beloved by other Mamajoggers, and perfect strangers. How amazing that all of those people could care enough about my little girl to want to help, and choose to join us in this new community of ours.

So, there you have it. The deepening of friendships, the spread of compassion, the creation of something beautiful from a truly dreadful situation... and the community created from these... all of this is the true magic that running has brought to my life. (Simply running - honestly, can you believe it!) I don't care to know where I'd be right now, without it.

I'm one year in, and it feels wonderful to have made it this far, and still love it - and I really really REALLY hope that it will stay this way for many more years to come.

Sooo late - Alameda Half!

2009-07-27T21:57:00.000-07:00

by Suzy

D'oh! How did... ahem... two months pass since the See Jane Run Half Marathon? I dunno.

The race was fantastic. All mamajogs finished handily - and a few weren't so sure they would, due to illness, crazy work, injuries, etc. in the month preceding the race. I don't want to blather on - I think the photos tell the story. But of course, I have to offer a thousand thanks to all my fabulous gals who ran... to everyone that donated, or spread the word... thanks to Claudia for designing our awesome t-shirts, and to Court who gave us a great deal printing them... to all the spouses who spent many Sunday mornings alone with the kids while mamas ran... to Julie for documenting, to Mike for popping up all over the route to cheer and snap (and thanks for letting me use your some of your images) and on and on. All told (through two races, two events, and the simple act of asking loved ones to help) we've raised over $30,000 for Cure JM in the past year. I think that's pretty damned impressive.

Now, the photos!

Another late-night t-shirt painting session... they were barely dry...

Anna, are those Shot Bloks in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Pre-race warm-up silliness... and Art, trying not to drown in the sea of estrogen...

Heather, Barb, and Luca came all the way from Seattle to join us for the race!

Heather's sneaky way of catching a shot of an elderly couple in their pajamas, watching from their living room window.

For a while, we weren't sure if Lenny, Mielle and Lucien would actually make it before the race started... this is me finally seeing them and heading over for final hugs, just as the horn blew

And they're off!

One last sweet hug from Claudia before taking off. This just kills me.

Our great friends Gabriel and Kelly came from Vallejo to cheer us on - it was a surprise and it put a HUGE smile on my face! Thanks, guys!

Looking good, ladies!

Barb, hitting her stride...

Meanwhile, Kirsten was already kicking back with a cold one. She was recovering from a marathon the previous month, so she ran the 5k. I'm noticing how much more champagne she got... seriously... by the time we got ours, it was a tiny splash at the bottom of the glass! No fair! ; )

Hey Billy, ya got something stuck to your leg...

A slew of chillins! Thanks for entertaining the kids during the 2+ hour wait for us to cross the finish line. (It's true that no speed records were broken that day - but we finished, dammit!)

With my girl at the finish!

She immediately swiped my medal, and I had a hard time getting it back -- but I got it back - it's MINE!

A shout out from our man Lucien!

Couldn't do any of this without this guy. Love.

Lene (Mielle's best friend) ran with Claudia (her mom) in the last little stretch.

Claudia was on cloud nine, seriously - the highest runner's high ever in history, I do believe! She'd been in serious doubt as to whether she could finish - but she DID - because she is a Serious BadAss!

I pity the fool that tries to swipe HER medal!

Triumphant ladies. You are all wonderful, and amazing, and I love you!

Soooooo, when's the next race? : )

Yeah, Baby!!

2009-06-07T18:25:00.001-07:00

(it seems that we are all a bit too tuckered out to write about is just yet, but meanwhile...here's the short version....)

We're Gonna Rock It!

2009-05-29T21:44:00.000-07:00

by Debamitra

I just read Suzy's recent blog and wanted to add that YES we are going to rock it in whatever way we can:) I know I can speak for all of us when I say no matter what happens tomorrow, just the journey to get here as been amazing. I realized I could do something that I never in a million years thought I could do and in the process I also got to meet some amazing women and build friendships. But that's it about me. Everything else is about the cause we are running for and what it means to Suzy and her family. I am glad that we could help out in this way Suzy!

Good night and see you all tomorrow bright and early!

The... RACE??

2009-05-29T16:10:00.000-07:00

by Suzy

Wow, I can't believe the race is tomorrow! How on earth did that happen?

I can't help feeling that it's a little anti-climactic. For the last race, it was a production: we traveled to Carlsbad, we had events with Cure JM folks, etc. etc. I pondered a lot about the race coming up.

This time, I'm swept up in the midst of life, children and work and barely have time to think about the race! And it seems the same for everyone. Claudia's CRAZY busy with work. Anna's sick. Kirsten's been having trouble with leg pain since her marathon. I was out of the country for a job last week and am still way behind the eight-ball. Nicole's hubby is suddenly, unexpectedly leaving for a job - the MORNING OF THE RACE. Many of the hubs have to leave during or immediately after the race to work or whatever. Seems like nobody's been able to actually run much, lately. And Jan? I have no idea what's happening with Jan, because we haven't even had the chance to speak in weeks.

Claudia noted that everyone seemed to peak about a month ago - we were mostly running strong then - and it's kinda been downhill from there for many of us, in many different ways including work crises, illness, injury, etc.! Crazy!

But, we do have our plan for where to meet tomorrow. I'm sure that once we gather in the wee hours, scarfing bagels and bananas and coffee, things will sink in.... the race is here... we're going to run it and we're going to ROCK it!! (umm, we hope!) : )

Mamajog Shirts

2009-05-19T16:38:00.000-07:00

by Claudia

Hot off the press....Mamajog shirts....wear one on May 30th and come cheer us on!

Please post a comment here if you are interested in purchasing one: we have women's ($20.-), men's ($20.-) and children's sizes ($15.-). 100% of the proceeds are donated to the Cure JM foundation. Click on the image for a large view of the Design.

Kirsten & Steph's Marathon

2009-05-12T13:06:00.000-07:00

Read about it on Kirsten's amazing, sweet, touching, heartbreaking, and inspirational blog, Casa Roll:

http://casaroll.blogspot.com/2009/05/pleasure-and-pain.html

Nr. 11991 & friends

2009-05-10T22:14:00.000-07:00

by Claudia

This weekend, we will be tackling our longest training-run before the actual race: 14 miles, according to the training-plan.
We haven't made the final decision on whether we should run the full 14, or rather keep it to 12.5, since Nicole and I weren't able to run 12.5 miles the last long-run weekend (we were both down with the flu, and have a little catching up to do).

Another reason is that some of us just want to savor the great feeling of running farther than we ever have before, and reserve that pleasure for the actual race-day, when we will hit the 13+ mile marker.

But what we DO know is that we have a super-fun course picked out (thanks to Nicole's GENIOUS idea): to mix it up a bit, we all signed up to run the infamous "Bay to Breakers" race in San Francisco (all the way across the City and through Golden Gate Park, from Embarcadero to Ocean Beach). And - no - we will not run naked, or fabricate a float, but it'll still be fun. The Bay to Breakers-course is 7.5 miles long, so basically, we'll get to run to our halfway-point in a crowd of totally fun people in costume, wearing a number and a timing-chip, pick up a medal at the finish-line, and then cruise along the Coastline and back for another 5 to 6.5 miles for desert.

A few days ago, my B to B race-package with my number-bib and timing chip arrived in the mail, and I realized that I am ready to take on this race...instead of shaking in my sneakers at the thought of the 14 miles, I just tacked the envelope onto my fridge, wearing a big-fat, anticipatory grin on my face.

Sweet 6

2009-05-07T13:53:00.000-07:00

by Suzy

Had to really force myself to get out there today. Told myself I just need to go 3, and once I got out it felt soooo great that I ran 6. Sweet.

Meet Debamitra!

2009-05-04T22:50:00.000-07:00

by Suzy

This is Debamitra, with whom I've been acquainted ever since we moved to our fair island city nearly 7 years ago. We traveled in mom's-group circles that overlapped, and our kids now go to the same elementary school (her son is one grade higher than Mielle.) Anyway, after mamajoggers ran the first half-marathon, I was chatting with Debamitra in the schoolyard and she told me she wanted to run the next one with us. Fabulous!

Now, like several of us, Debamitra has never run before. And it hasn't been easy for her. In the beginning, she was easily winded and really had a difficult time running even the shorter distances. But she kept at it. I recall that one Sunday, early in the training, when we were all having a post-run breakfast at our favorite cafe (the Blue Dot), who should happen by? Yep, Debamitra. She didn't make it in time to meet us for the run, so she headed out on her own. In the rain, no less. Another time, a couple mamajoggers were running the lagoon loop and bumped into her - again, running on her own. She often had conflicts on Sundays when we did our usual runs, but she kept on going - having started from scratch - and made it all the way up to 8 miles, running solo.

Let me just take a moment to say that I, personally, have not run more than 6 miles all by myself. I really rely on the company of my ladies to pull me through the longer runs!

Anyway, Debamitra was doing this amazing thing all by herself, but by this time she had fallen a little behind on the schedule, and was really struggling to push beyond the 8 miles. The next distance to tackle was 9.5, and in fact she made 3 attempts, but each time made it only to 6 miles. We encouraged her to keep going, but also (and ever-so-gently) reminded her that there is also a 5K component of the race; she could run that distance this time, and go for the half-marathon next time around. There would be no shame in it! She was doing great, but maybe it was just too much to go from zero to 13 miles in only a few months!

Nope. Debamitra insisted that she wanted to do the half-marathon. And she'd try again.

Last week, I met her for another attempt at 9.5. I'd been in Chicago all week with Mielle and hadn't been able to run, so I was happy for the chance to log some miles. We met at the usual spot and started off on the 9.5 lagoon loop, which has worked so well in the past. I knew that Debamitra walked periodically when she felt tired, and I thought it might help to just plan little walk-breaks into the run - maybe those planned breaks would help keep her energy up and prevent her from having to walk out of exhaustion. So we ran 10 minutes, then walked one. I think it helped, but we also did add a few unplanned walk breaks that were a bit longer... it was very stop-and-go!

Along the way, though, something wonderful happened. It was the first time that Debamitra and I had the opportunity to really talk and get to know one another. I heard the story of how she met her husband, and she heard the story of how I met mine. We talked about kids, and parents, and Alameda, and all sorts of other things. And we talked about running. I offered some suggestions, based on my own experience and the tiny tidbits I've read/heard/learned here and there; I suggested she try really pushing through those times when she is tempted to walk, and also to run shorter distances during the week - but run them faster, or do intervals. Debamitra finished the 9.5 mile run that day, and I know she had cleared a big psychological hurdle. She planned to tackle 11 the following week, while the rest of us would be running 12.5.

So that brings us to yesterday. Anna, Jen, Debamitra and I met at 7:30 and started off. As the miles ticked by, well... I was blown away. Debamitra just chugged along with us, powering through the distance. There was a light rain for most of the run, so although we did make a few pit stops for water, potty, etc. we didn't stop as often as we sometimes do on long runs. Even so, Debamitra only took one walking break, around mile 5, for maybe 2 minutes. She was truly a different runner than the week before. It was so incredibly impressive!

Toward the end of the run, around 10.5 miles, I looked over at her. I know how hard the last couple miles are, when it's the farthest distance you've ever run. The other gals were chatting and laughing, but Debamitra was focused. Eyes straight ahead, arms pumping, feet lifting. Her body was moving like a well-oiled machine at that point - I know she was feeling the miles, but she looked amazing, so intent on her goal, and utterly determined. It was truly awe-inspiring to see this incredible transformation!

In two weeks, Debamitra will run 12.5 miles, and two weeks after that, she WILL run the half-marathon. I am so, so proud of her.

Thanks for the inspiration, Debamitra - and of course, thank you for all you're doing to help Cure JM!

This should be interesting

2009-05-03T07:03:00.000-07:00

by Suzy

Today I'll find out if it is possible to photograph a full-on wedding, ending Saturday at midnight, and then run 12.5 miles at 7:30 am the following day. I'm a little worried... but thinking about Kirsten and Stephanie rockin' the Avenue of the Giants Marathon today will provide inspiration. They're probably starting about now. One step at a time...

Good luck Steph and Kirsten!

2009-05-03T00:52:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm up insomniacal again, and so I can be the first one to post that today, TODAY, is the day that two of our erstwhile mamajoggers, Kirsten and Stephanie, are running a marathon. That would be a FULL marathon, which is something I myself can only still imagine. The Avenue of the Giants Marathon, up there somewhere beautiful in Humbolt.

So, our two dears, you will not read this til later, but know that we are all with you in spirit. Run and breathe. (As Suzy so movingly put it in another blog.) Run and breathe, and we are so proud of you.

And hey, after this, will you start running with us again? Cuz we miss you.

About unexpected Gifts

2009-04-29T23:04:00.000-07:00

by Claudia

A few weeks ago, it was my 40th Birthday. I used to really love a good party to mark that occasion, but around the time I turned into an adult that needed to show up for work in the morning, this somewhat changed. Now the main thing I want to do on my Birthday is just something different, something small, something I don't do every day. It could be having coffee in bed, having my kids sing HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me and draw me a crazy picture, a nice dinner with my husband, something that sets my birthday slightly apart from all the other 364 days of the year.

But this year, when my 40th was fast approaching and a lot of people asked me about what I had planned, I found that I hadn't really though about it...and yet, my Birthday ended up being so very special and memorable that I know I will never forget what I did that day:

I got up at an ungodly early hour, laced up my running shoes, and showed up at our favorite meeting spot in the local Park, at 5:30 am (since the clocks had changed just one night prior, my body-clock was convinced it was actually 4:30 am), where my fearless friend Kirsten was waiting, in the pitch dark, cold morning.

We went out for a beautiful run along the Waterfront, in almost complete darkness, with the full moon's bright reflection shimmering across the bay alongside of us. By the time we were about halfway into our run, we happened to turn around to see an enormous, gorgeous orange moon setting behind the San Francisco Skyline. It was so stunningly beautiful, and it seemed like it was all put on display just for us (after all, who else would be crazy enough to be out and about at this time in the freezing cold wind??!??!?!)....

When we reached the mark of the 6 miles we had planned to run, we both decided to rather keep going than freeze to death (it was still pretty cold and windy), so we just kept on going, only to realize that in the end, we had "accidentally" ran 8 miles, just to keep warm and finish our lovely chat. Painless. Fun.

For a lot of sporty people, this might not be that unusual of a way to start off your day, but had you told me a year ago how I would start off my 40th Birthday, I would have laughed really hard and called you crazy.

A year ago this time, I was so entangled into daily life and work that the only sporty activity I would make time for was chasing after my kids, up to the day when I had somewhat of a health-scare: in the end, it turned out to be just a very painful kidney stone, but the symptoms felt like I was having a heart attack, and it got me a speedy ride with an ambulance to the nearest ER. The main thought that was racing through my head as I was doubled over, waiting for the Paramedics to show up (thank you, Suzy, for racing right over to call 911 and hold my hand while I was freaking out!), was that I didn't want to suddenly kick the bucket and leave my children to grow up without their mom.

As a result I decided that by the time I turned 40, I would turn myself into the fittest and healthiest person I could become, so that I could be around for them for a very long time.

So....on my Birthday, I am grateful for the gift of a friend that rolls out of bed on a cold, dark, windy morning to go running with me.
I am grateful for the gift of being able to run 8 miles without even noticing, while holding a conversation. I am grateful for being able put this newfound ability to work as way to help Mielle. I am grateful for the gift of being able to redefine who I am and how I live. This year, I had a great and truly Happy Birthday.

PS:

Lucky me - I also got my handmade Card with a poem my daughter wrote for me....It goes something like this:

"Brothers, Sisters, A(u)nts
Uncles, Dads,
Grandma's and Grandpa's....
But no-one is so great
then the old smartie-pants."

Priceless.

Meet Barb!

2009-04-29T21:31:00.000-07:00

by Barb, posting from Seattle, Washington

This shot was taken just after I got home from a 5 mile training run. Many of you know that I've joined Suzy and the other "Mama Joggers" who are raising money for the Cure JM Foundation. I'm registered for the See Jane Run Half Marathon in Alameda, CA on May 31, and have been training since the beginning of March. I'm also registered as part of a team for the Hood-to-Coast Relay at the end of August.

I've done similar events in the past, like the Marine Corps Marathon in 1998 to raise money for the Whitman Walker Clinic in DC, and the MS150 ride a couple of years ago. But this event is personal on so many levels and it would mean so much to me to have your support.

Mielle, the daughter of our good friends Suzy and Lenny, is afflicted with a rare autoimmune disease for which there is no cure. I had the privilege of getting to know Mielle when she was just a little baby. During my summer in San Francisco during law school, I always looked forward to leaving the cold foggy city behind and heading over to sunny Alameda. I would get to take long walks with Mielle in the sling, and read and play with her. I recall one afternoon Suzy came into the room laughing and asked why I always had such a goofy voice while reading to and playing with Mielle. I didn't have an answer other than it was worth looking and sounding like a goof to my adult friend in exchange for the wonderful smiles and responses I would get from Mielle.

So when we learned about Mielle's suffering, diagnosis and the devastating effects of her treatment, I was deeply saddened and felt helpless. But Mielle and her family weren't going to wallow in self pity. Instead they have gotten busy trying to raise awareness and funds for research to find a cure. Suzy's first run inspired me to get a new pair of running shoes and commit to two races this summer.

This is the point in the story where self doubt kicked in. It's been over a decade since I've done a running event, and in the interim I've had more knee surgeries and other health problems, not to mention the weight I put on in my 30s. I kept putting off that first training run, even though it was only a mile. If anything, law school teaches one to rationalize just about any point. For me, it was reasons for not going out for that first run (for others like former Bush administration lawyers, it was torture). Finally, I just did it. And to my great relief and surprise I did just fine and went further than a mile. Sure, I was winded immediately, and I won't be setting any time records. But I was moving, it felt good, and I knew I would be able to help Mielle, even if only in a small way.

Not all runs go well, and I'm bummed that I'm not there to train with the other Mama Joggers. But when I need motivation to make it to the next walk break, signpost or whatever marker I think of Mielle and her family and all that they must endure. And I'm inspired by the grit and grace by which they have responded. Then I know that I can and will make it to the next marker that I've designated to break up the training run into manageable chunks.

With your help, we can break up the fundraising goal into manageable chunks, and more importantly help find a cure and give Mielle and her family the hope and support they need. So please give what you can to Cure JM.

With much appreciation,
Barb

Who’s it gonna be?

2009-04-20T13:56:00.000-07:00

by Kirsten

Steph and I ran 20 miles on Sat. Our last long run before the marathon on May 3rd up on Humboldt. And if you think I’m bad ass for running 18 on my own the other week, how about Steph breezing through 20 after 4 cocktails and sushi with friends the night before? She might disagree with the word “breezing” but she never buckled and never barfed and I don’t know anyone else who could do that.

It wasn’t easy, but we worked it out. At mile 14 the idea of still having 6 more to go was a bit daunting. At mile 16 we stretched and regrouped. At 18, we got a donut. Oh yes we did. And it was The. Best. Donut. Ever. We sat on the curb in the shade and ate. I had the giggles the whole time we sat there. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky. Geese were nibbling in the grass across the street. There was a slight buzz from the power lines above and a summer smell of warm pine needles. Our feet were pulsating just a bit. While it was starting to get hot, the breeze was still very cool and it swirled across our wrung out bodies and it felt like pure delight.

We sat for a bit and gathered strength for the last 2 miles and schemed about what it would take to bribe a friend into coming with us to the marathon to cheer us on and provide a donut at mile 18. We do after all have a lovely room at a great hotel that is already paid for and Steph will be driving...

Who’s it gonna be?

11 miles on a hot summer day

2009-04-19T22:54:00.000-07:00

with Jan, Anna, Claudia, Amy, and Nicole

by Suzy

Wow, what a glorious day in San Francisco! A real summer day, in April no less! We ran 11 along the coast and through Golden Gate Park today; luckily we started early before things heated up too much - and before the park got to terribly crowded. So nice, as always, to take a long run in a new place - sunlight filtering through the trees, scent of eucalyptus, gorgeous blooming flowers along the way... yes, lovely.

The running itself felt really manageable to me, despite the fact that I've been a bit of a slacker the last week or two... phew! Although, I have to say that I don't get anxious about the long runs anymore, the way I did the first time around. I guess that is the trade-off that comes with a little (a very little) more experience. I've lost the incredible sense of adventure and uncharted-territory-excitement with each longer run, but it's been replaced with a sense of... well, I guess I would call it... confidence! Amazing! And it's nice that I can actually get some sleep the night before the run, rather than toss and turn the night away in nervous anticipation.

Hmmm, 11 miles ran today, and now it's 11 pm. Time for bed.

Hottie Anna before the run. Fantastic hair light.

First few miles along the ocean

Cutting into the park. Love that windmill.

The 11-mile gang: Anna, Claudia, Amy, Nicole, Jan, and me.

2009-04-04T19:40:00.000-07:00

by Suzy

Ran almost 5 today while on a visit to family in Virginia. It wasn't easy, and it wasn't hard. It just was.

I've been using the Nike+ iPod gadget to track distances and times, and I was surprised at how slow my pace was on this run! It didn't feel slow... but, whatever. It's easy to get sucked in and get a little obsessive about the stats, but they don't actually matter one bit. The important thing is just to be doing it. Feels really, really good.

9.5 Redux

2009-04-02T19:37:00.000-07:00

by Suzy

The same day that Kirsten ran her heroic, solo 18 miles, some of the rest of us ran 9.5 - one week earlier than indicated on the schedule. Why? Because Claudia and I were both scheduled to be out of town, and we just wanted to get the long run out of the way... so we hatched a plan to run it a week early. We weren't expecting anyone else to join us... but Nicole, Anna and Jennifer all did! Anna and Jen are training for their first half-marathon, so they are in that place of "every long run is the longest run I've ever done..." and they kicked it! Amazing ladies!

And Nicole... well... Nicole's characteristic quote is "I don't know how far I'll make it today. I -{insert various statements such as "have been sick and haven't run in 10 days" or "got two hours of sleep last night" etc. etc.}- and then she always freaking rocks it.

We ran the same 9.5 loop as the last training, because we love love love it. It's almost all along water, alternating between the bay with views of San Francisco, and a little lagoon path winding through a cute neighborhood. It changes a lot, so you constantly have the feeling that you've completed another segment, made progress. The weather was lovely, not too windy and not too hot, and everything is blooming right now. It was pretty wonderful.

A few days prior, Nicole and I ran a 3.7 segment of this same route, and it was a struggle for both of us. I've said it before, and I'll say it again - it's amazing how different things can feel from run to run. Mostly, though, I was struck by how awesome it felt to be getting back up into the higher mileage. I've really missed it - and I'm still completely shocked to be saying that!

Because I Can

2009-03-29T14:37:00.000-07:00

by Kirsten

I ran 18 miles by myself this morning because Steph called at 6:30 a.m. to tell me she was sick. With no running partner, I finally headed out on my own with a charged iPod and my Garmin about 8:30 a.m.

It’s warmer than it’s been in weeks. I was already sweating and huffing heavy with dealing with a leaky water bottle that was driving me crazy at mile 2. I knew it would be a long run. But there was a cool breeze and the city was so clear I could see both the Bay Bridge and the Golden Gate in the distance as I rounded down the waterfront.

At mile six I stopped to rest and get a drink. My legs were already a bit achy. And I wasn’t really close to done. But today, I did it because I could. We’ve had a few deaths in our family in the last few months and lately, the news all around has seemed more tragic and sad than usual. The cool wind and the warm sun, the soft shade, the jasmine and eucalyptus were almost a bit too much good. Today, I kept telling myself, I am running because I can. I took in the reflection of the sun on the water and I stopped when I needed a drink and I kept going, because I could.

There is a book of poems by Marie Howe called “What the Living Do,” which she wrote in response to her brother’s death. I couldn’t help but think of these poems while I ran this morning. Today I put on my running shoes. Today I started slow. I stretched at the stop lights because my legs were getting tight. I ate a chocolate chip cliff bar on a bench in front of the gas station at mile 12 because I needed a rest. These are things the living do.

I got through my 18 miles today because I could, and I will keep running, as long as I can.

The Breakdown

2009-03-19T14:07:00.000-07:00

by Kirsten

Running does a lot of things for the body. It builds it up; increases strength, stamina and oxygen intake. But for me, it tones things down, softening it all up a bit. I love the long runs not for the strength it builds, but for the hardness it breaks down. I don’t come away from the long runs shored up for the week as much as I limp away exposed and empty.

So much in life asks us to be strong, to be people who are unbreakable. But running those long miles reminds me that I am actually not very strong. I get blisters, I get fatigued, I feel stressed and short tempered before my long runs. When I’m out on the long runs, I can’t even crank it out over the hard miles without a few rest stops. I need to refuel with water, a GU pack or even a half bagel and cream cheese, like the one Steph split at mile 8 of our 16 mile run last Sunday.

No matter how far I’ve run in days before, those first few miles of every run are disjointed and heavy. No matter how motivated I am at 8:00 p.m. the night before, if one of my girls is not going to be waiting on the dark corner for me at 5:30 am, it’s much less of a chance that I’ll get out the door in the black cold.

I used to love running alone. But now I know it’s just because I never really ran with friends before. And solitude, while it has its merits, is not friendship. And it’s not just because I need the relief of laughter and a cocktail or the distraction of a good conversation, but because I need help getting out of bed some mornings.

Pip Squeak A Go Go Go!

2009-03-10T21:41:00.000-07:00

by Suzy

Well wooooo hooooo! The Pip Squeak fundraiser was a sell-out success and we raised over $5,500 for Cure JM! Huge thank you to the AMAZING Dorinda, Bernadette, Uni and her Ukelele, the Time Outs, Frances England, Julie Caine for taking great pics, Josh the soundman extraordinaire, all the volunteers and friends who helped, all local businesses who donated items, and everyone who came and spent their hard-earned money with us! I'm just gonna post a whole bunch of pics now:

Resources and Races

2009-02-22T15:55:00.000-08:00

by Suzy

Been digging out of the big backlog I racked up last month, when every spare moment was dedicated to running, or fundraising, or otherwise preparing for the Cure JM event and race in Carlsbad. And we're moving right on to the next thing, a fantastic dance party for kids - a fundraising event coming up on March 1. Our pals are doing the lion's share of the work (THANKS Dorinda, Bernadette, Becca, Kirsten, Amy, and everyone else!), but of course it adds to my load as well.

I'm out of town on a job at the moment (Bahamas!) and between the preparations to leave, the actual travel (loooong), the jet lag and a little tummy bug that accompanied me to the islands, I hadn't been able to really run. I tried a couple days ago, but pooped out. I was just depleted; no energy and no reserves.

I was finally able to pick it up again today, and around mile 3 I started thinking about resources, and how important it is to conserve them. A couple of days earlier, thanks to jet lag and a little parasitic visitor, I'd been left with none; I couldn't really run and it was a terrible feeling.

Then I started thinking about our upcoming event, the next race, and beyond. There is so much I want to do... but I do realize that I have to pace myself in this, just as I have to pace myself in running. And, just as in training for a long race, I have to pull in ALL my resources to get the job done. That's where you come in, my friends.

We are so blessed to have so many incredibly loving, supportive, action-oriented friends. Here's just a short list of what you have done to help us:

Way back in June, before running was even on the horizon, I sent out a simple email appeal, asking for support for Cure JM on Mielle's behalf. You all sent over $3,000 at that time.

In July, Dianne, Lisa and Jessi hatched a plan for a multi-family yardsale to raise funds for our medical expenses, as well as Cure JM. It grew into a huge community event, and dozens of friends helped - making lemonade, playing music, standing in the hot sun and haggling for hours on end... it was unbelivable. We raised over $5,000 and the accompanying newspaper articles increased awareness about JM.

In January, of course, I ran the Carlsbad Half Marathon, something I never, ever thought I would do. Again, friends were there beside me - Kirsten, Steph, Nicole and (in spirit) Claudia. As you probably know, we raised over $16,000 for Cure JM!

In short, we've done a lot, and we've had a TON of help from dozens and dozens of people.

I don't plan to stop fundraising efforts anytime soon, and at the same time, I want to use my resources (YOU!) wisely and respectfully.

So, here is my pledge: I won't stop asking for the help that is critical to improving the lives of Mielle and the other children with JM... but I promise to make the process as fun, entertaining, and inspiring as possible!

I am the family dog

2009-02-17T11:24:00.000-08:00

by claudia

OK, in a sense, I have been for a while - finishing the leftovers off my children's plates here and there, but now I have taken it to a whole new level. Where in the past, we would take the kids (3 and 7) to the Park to help them get the Wiggles out, I have now turned the tables and introduced a new version: "Walking the Mama":

This Sunday, there was a short break in the relentless downpour we've been having the past few days, so the entire family ditched the PJ's for some rain-gear, my husband and kids hopped on their bicycles, and rode along with me as I went on a run. They got to follow a new trail they had not discovered yet, we had beautiful views of the San Francisco Skyline, got to chase some ducks, race through huge puddles on the way, huddle together under some trees when the rain picked up again, and got to see an enormous rainbow unfolding right overhead. Everyone had fun, it was lovely.

It is amazing how this running-thing has not only transformed me, but also creates new traditions and habits for my entire family now.

PS: my husband went for his first run with me a week ago while the kids were in school (actually, it was really nice, kind of like having a little date) and has now purchased his first pair of running-shoes.

At It Again

2009-02-15T22:37:00.000-08:00

by Suzy

Yep, that's right, there is another race on our horizon. The See Jane Run Half Marathon, right here in Alameda, on May 30. And we have new mamas running with us, which is more delightful than I can express!

We just started over again with the same training schedule, so we're working our way up... did 4 miles today in the cold, windy rain. Well, ok, it actually wasn't that bad b/c we caught a nice break in the downpour - got lucky. But I'm still soooo impressed with everyone who braved the elements for today's run. Thanks gals!

On the Virtues of Getting Passed

2009-02-02T15:12:00.000-08:00

by Nicole

Yup, we did it! We finished our first half-marathon. These impressions were written before Suzy's blog (below!) was posted, so excuse any repetition. Also, a huge thanks to all who sponsored me/us (or who still want to!) -- and hey, if you're local and you're female (you don't have to be a mama), join us mamajoggers for our next half! We've set our sights on the See Jane Run half-marathon in May, right here in our hometown of Alameda.

But about the race.

First and foremost: Who knew so much pain could be so much fun?

Well, apparently thousands upon thousands of people knew very well, thank you. Both the marathon and the half-marathon were sold out, and it showed. Mostly, it showed in the pre-race lines for the porta-potties. Hundreds of porta-potties, huge lines at each one. Think cattle. Early-morning, very cold, cattle.

Team Mielle (Suzy, Kirsten, Stephanie, and I -- with Claudia cheering us on remotely) had made a solemn pact to stick together for most of the race. (Unspoken subtextual agreement: if you have a kick at the end, any kind of kick -- more power to you, and go for it.) This worked until -- the very first water station. We all thought we muttered the same thing, but it turns out two of us muttered "water" and two of us muttered "potty" -- they sound remarkably similar, when you think about it. And then next thing we know, Stephanie and I had lost the other girls in the crowd. No sign of them at all. (That would be the "potty" contingent.) One mile in! So much for togetherness.

Thank goodness for long hair-pin turns, because some consternation later, all were reunited.

The course was just breath-taking. Most of it wended along the coast, with surf crashing and cliffs rising. When it was not coast, it was refreshing eucalyptus-lined streets of quaintly coastal Carlsbad, or lovely rolling hills (right over highway 5 and into the parking lot of a mall, ahh). It threatened to rain. It threatened to sun. (Said sun would have been deadly to the four of us, sporting cotton long-sleeved Cure JM t-shirts that would have extinguished us in sweat by mile 5). Instead, it overcasted. And stayed overcast, beautifully overcast, all along the race -- until, just for the post-race festivities, the sun broke out in full glory. Who ordered that up?

This sounds wrong to even me, but the first seven miles felt pretty easy. I mean, it was hard not to be moved -- and moved along. There were hundreds of people lining the course, cheering us on. The Cure JM water station at mile 3 was huge, spirited, and featured my very own spouse and progeny (and Suzy's as well) looking extra cute and proud and doling out hurried hugs. Bands played along the way. People handed us packs of GU. (Disgustingly-textured, deliciously-flavored, magical fuel-like stuff in little packets. Mmm.) What could be better? (Now, if we could just muster this level of support every run we train...)

However, and inevitably -- Mile eight: started to feel questionable. Miles nine and on: a struggle. For those counting, that's five miles of struggle. Five miles where my brain was thinking: I'm really not having fun any more. Can I do this? (Oh look, there's my family again, that helps!)

Really, really not knowing if I could finish at all by mile 11, at just under mile 12 I heard a magical phrase from a helpful onlooker: "Everything's downhill after the stoplight." I focus on the stoplight. I drag my legs to the stoplight come hell or high water. And then -- a voice inside me says: let's get this last mile over with as quickly as possible, because truly, I don't know how much longer I can last. And thus negatively motivated, I let the downhill take me (my high school coach's voice in my ear, "Just glide it down the hill, don't fight against it"). I coast into it and I see other people, very true, fighting the downward momentum, trying to control against it. I relax and go and almost inadvertently start to pass people. And then the hill ends but I keep up that pace; I try another Coach Nawrocki trick and attach to someone just a touch faster than me, become a gadfly, stick onto the back of him like velcro, and I ride that momentum much longer than I think I can.

And suddenly it dawns on me: I'm kicking! I have a kick! I have a kick at 13 miles! And because that has never really been true before on our long training runs -- I'm usually pretty sapped by the end and just thankful to be able to drag my legs to the finish -- I relax just a bit and go with it.

I realize also that I have lost my girls.

But then, out of the corner of my eye, from behind me comes another, matching bright blue blur of motion. It gains on me, it passes me, and it keeps going. It is Suzy, it's something like the last half mile, and she is fairly sailing. Sailing ahead at a rate that I could never, kick or no kick, hope to match at this point. "Go Suze!" I just manage to choke out as she passes, and she kind of... was that a *giggle*? Yup, here at mile twelve-point-something, a bona fide Suzy-giggle, half self-conscious and half proud. And I think of Mielle and of all the hours Suzy has put into this -- training for this run, pulling the four of us in with her, doggedly fundraising, painstakingly making t-shirts, producing cards, spear-heading our mamajog website, planning the next event -- and I just grin. Grin and tear up a bit and keep running my ass off with no hope in hell of catching her.

And thus it happens that my favorite moment of my first half-marathon is this: being passed. Being passed by a woman possessed. Possessed by love for her daughter.

Does it get any better than that?

Finally, the RACE!

2009-01-30T14:13:00.001-08:00

by Suzy

Wow, where to even begin? There is so much to tell about the weekend as a whole, the Cure JM events, the other families, the kid's race...

More about all that to come, but let's cut to the chase and get right to the main event, the half marathon on Sunday morning! Mamajoggers met up bright and early, squealed a bit over the fabulous embellishments Kirsten and Steph made to their Cure JM shirts, gathered some snacks, piled into the rented PT Cruiser (oh yeah!) and made our way to the shopping center parking lot that was the starting point of the race. A little traffic, a little bit of weird looping around due to the race-related road closure, then we parked and walked through the shopping mall (weird!) to get to the right area.

I had a really thrilling moment when we were approaching the start; we turned a corner or something and suddenly we could see all of the thousands of runners stretched out into the distance. Soooo fun. A sea of people. And about 90% seemed to be waiting in line at the porta-potties. Dozens and dozens of porta-potties - maybe hundreds? -- and lines of people for each.

We found the area for our "wave" (the race was divided into waves depending on your estimated pace, to help avoid traffic jams, jostling, etc. - we were Wave 5), stretched a bit, and waited for things to get rolling. It was a delightful surprise when the lovely Julie Caine strolled up, camera in hand. Julie generously joined us for the weekend to shoot the events for Cure JM, cheer us on, and generally be a fantastically supportive friend to my whole family, and I'm so grateful. Anyhow, she had no idea what wave we were in, so she just dove into the throng and eventually found us out of at least 9,000 people. It was so great to see her smiling face and pose for a few snaps! At this point, I was feeling super giddy and excited, so glad to see the day finally arrive, swept up in the excitement of the huge crowd and the anticipation. I am so glad that we had already run 14 miles as part of our training, because I wasn't nervous at all about the actual running part. I felt confident; I KNEW I could do it - it was just a matter of how much it would hurt! I was hopeful that it wouldn't hurt too much, but prepared to just do it (uh, thanks, Nike) no matter what.

We started moving forward, Wave 5 moving to the start line! There was an announcer giving a rolling commentary on things to keep the crowd amused, and I was glad to hear him mention Cure JM a couple of times - and when we walked past his booth to get to the start line, I waved my hat around to get his attention and another mention - and got it. Yeah! It's kind of like when you're a kid and you try to get the truckers to blow their big horn when they drive by, and they actually do it. Strangely satisfying.

Finally, we started! Woo hoo! It was really crowded and Steph made a comment like "I just don't want to lose you guys". I thought, pshaw! We couldn't possible lose one another! And within the first mile, due to a miscommunication about stopping for water/potty, we lost one another! Such a bummer - Kirsten and I were left behind, Nicole and Steph swept forward. K and I started booking it to try and catch up, and we did before too long... and all was right with the world again. ; )

Around mile 3 we passed the water station manned by Cure JM. Needless to say, it was AWESOME to see all those blue Cure JM shirts and hear all their cheers. Lenny found me and gave me a kiss. I found Mielle and gave her a kiss, and I was relieved that she seemed to be having a good time among the crowds and the chaos. We were still kind of giddy so we flew through the station pretty quickly, and it was only after we passed through that I realized I'd forgotten poor Lucien in all the excitement, and he got NO kiss. Such is the life of the second child... poor little guy! (Lenny's sister Angel was there and was loving on him, so he was doing just fine.)

At this point the course ran along the ocean, so it was stunningly beautiful. Waves crashing, beams of sunlight streaming through holes in the clouds, the whole bit. We just chugged along for quite a while; don't know about the other gals, but I was still kind of buzzing from all the excitement.

Potty break just before the halfway mark, and then the turn-around (it was a there-and-back course). Things still felt really good and we planned to keep on going until we hit the Cure JM water station again. At that point, we'd have about 2.5 miles to go.

For me, it is just at that point in the race where the feeling of heaviness kicks in. On the training runs, the last couple of miles on all of the final long runs were pretty tough. To hit the Cure JM water station at that point in the race, to see all those smiling, cheering faces, was an indescribable feeling. I found Mielle, who was standing along the route ringing a cow bell. Gave her a big hug and a kiss and this time found Lucien, too! It was the best possible timing for a big spiritual boost, the culmination of all my training and imagining and hoping, and love for my daughter, and the immeasurable gratitude I have toward the people that have worked so hard to help children with this dreaded disease. This amazing moment uplifted and rejuvenated me.

Then we kept on running. I still felt tired, but somehow energized at the same time. It's hard to describe, because the fatigue was still there, but... it just didn't seem to matter. I was floating. I was in some kind of alternate reality. I still had energy to wave and hoot when onlookers read our shirts and I was still chatty with the ladies. I noticed that they'd gotten sort of quiet and I worried that my peppy-ness might be really annoying! But I couldn't contain myself. Despite the fatigue, I felt absolutely wonderful.

When there was maybe a mile left, there was a pretty steep little downhill section. At this point, our group split up - Nicole broke away, I was behind her, and Kirsten and Steph stayed back a bit. At the bottom of the hill, I realized how close we were to the finish, and I actually felt like I had some kick left in me - a totally new experience for a long run! In runs past, it was all I could do to just zone out, keep putting one foot in front of the other, and wait for it to be over. But this time I could feel that I had something extra still in me.

I had to go with it. I always had this idea of our group crossing the finish line all together, but we'd already separated and I felt like I simply had to go with what I was feeling, just to see what I could do. So I did. I cranked it up as much as I could, and it felt like flying.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think I was actually running all that fast, but... for me, at that point in the race, to do anything beyond a trudge-with-a-little-bounce FELT like flying. And I'm pretty sure I had a big silly grin on my face the whole time.

And then I finished, and in a few moments came Nicole, and a few moments after that Kirsten and Steph. Hugs, elation! Medals! Snacks! And no good place to stretch (the one major flaw in the design of the race). But we made do. As you can already tell, I was enjoying my best runner's high ever (it lasted about 4 days).

So... Half Marathon Mission Accomplished. Later, big fat juicy burgers, fries, fruit, beer. A toast, to Mamajoggers... and a big, heartfelt THANK YOU to Kirsten, Steph, Nicole & Claudia, their families, and EVERYONE who supported us in this endeavor. It was a raging success in more ways than we ever could have anticipated. As ever, I am humbled and grateful.

On Accomplishments

2009-01-27T12:21:00.000-08:00

Kirsten’s Total Carlsbad Stats

1 Half Marathon
2:29.30 My recorded race time
5,399 Place I came in for the Carlsbad ½ Marathon
10:27 My average ½ Marathon pace
5:32 Average pace for the overall woman winner of the Carlsbad ½ Marathon
12:26 Average pace for the woman winner in 80-99 year old category
1 Turkey Trot
2 New friends
4 Months of training
5 Morning runs under full moons
54 Days I ran
6.8 Average miles per run
368.67 Recorded training miles
$15,175 Raised for Cure JM

Thanks to my Garmin which I started using December 7th, I also can include the following (since Dec. 7th):

16,019 Calories burned on runs
24.24 Hours and minutes I’ve spent either alone or with friends, running
10:00 Average pace (which I ran on a 7.7 mile run)...my best time yet

And now
4 Friends of mine who plan to join Mamajoggers for the See Jane Run 1/2
97 Days until the Avenue of the Giants Marathon
124 Days until See Jane Run ½ Marathon

Mamajoggers KICKED it!!

2009-01-25T17:20:00.000-08:00

by Suzy

Wooo hooo! More to come, but for now, we did it, we did it, we did it, we did it! And it was sooo good!

Run , run like the wind

2009-01-25T09:53:00.000-08:00

by Claudia

My friends, I am sitting at the airport waiting for my flight for my out-of-town work-assignment. You are running the 1/2 marathon as I am typing this. I wish it wasn't my fingers moving on the keyboard, but my feet pounding the pavement right alongside of you.

I am running along with you in my thoughts, cheering you on in my head (I guess airport security would drag me out of here by my hair if I did it out loud).

Enjoy this big race-day - you certainly earned it! Sending lots energy and good thoughts your way...run, run like the wind!

Race Day Eve

2009-01-24T22:05:00.000-08:00

by Suzy

Wow, I can't believe that race day is here! The last week has been a blur... after we conquered 14 miles I kinda stopped thinking about the running part of things and concentrated on fundraising, making shirts, cards, etc., and the time flew by. Now, here we are, the night before the race.

We arrived in Carlsbad yesterday and have been busy attending Cure JM events, meeting other families, and learning more about the research that Cure JM funds. Very motivational, let me tell you. More about all of this later (some evening when I do NOT have a 5 am wake-up call).

But I will say that it has been moving, inspirational, heartbreaking, and uplifting -- all at the same time. For example... at dinner tonight we sat with a girl who is 10 and has been battling JM from the age of three. She has a number of complications and is still struggling. She was silent, withdrawn, and generally seemed totally beaten down. I recognized that look; I've observed it at times in Mielle. It was devastating to see this girl; I found myself wishing I could see her smile, just once. But she never did.

So tomorrow, the race isn't just for Mielle. It's also for this other child, and all the JM kids I've met this weekend. I'll keep them all top of mind and close to my heart as I run.

I'm not worried about the miles at all. A very unexpected turn of events; I used to be TERRIFIED at the thought of the miles. Rationally, I realize that it could turn out to be one of those hard runs, and if it is I'll just suck it up; I'm DOING it no matter what. But I feel so confident and at peace that it's going to be smooth, and wonderful. I'm just so excited that this day has finally come.

Stay tuned!

14 Mile Mission ACCOMPLISHED!!

2009-01-14T19:51:00.000-08:00

by Suzy

First of all, can I just say WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO! We did it! 14 miles. I kinda can't believe it, even now, a few days later. It's really amazing to think that it works - the training, I mean - and that I really could go from 0 to 14 in a matter of a few months.

I've talked about my anxiety about this particular run, the longest in the training schedule - heck, it's even longer than the actual race distance. To top it off, I found the 12.5 mile run to be pretty rough, and even my recent shorter runs had felt difficult. So I had a lot of worry weighing me down. And then, something really lovely happened. Once we actually started running, none of it mattered.

We picked a new and beautiful run to help inspire and distract, so we drove over the bay to Sausalito. An absurdly large full moon was still in full glory as we drove, reflecting on the water as we made our way. The sun had just risen when we parked next to a marina full of houseboats, and the sky was brilliant orange and pink. So lovely.

It was chillier than we thought - actual frost on the ground! - but it was actually a nice distraction as we hustled to try and warm up over the first few miles. One stretch of the run was along a busy street, but most of it was on trails that meander along and follow the outline of the bay. We settled into luxurious, long, uninterrupted conversation, the type we rarely get to enjoy these days, what all the kids, chaos, etc. And amazingly enough, it didn't seem to long before we had reached our turn-around point in Tiburon - we'd gone well over 7 miles already, and everyone was feeling great!

Once more glance at the sweeping views of the bay and San Francisco, and we turned around for the second half. At this point, everyone was feeling pretty exuberant that things were going so smoothly. We were worried about Steph in particular, because she's had some problems with her ankle, but she was smiling and feeling great.

I've said this before, but it's really strange how different things feel from run to run. Sometimes it's just so hard, lead weights in the shoes and a strong headwind coming at you no matter what direction you're facing. This time, it was the opposite. It felt very serendipitous - everything just fell into place. There were a few small hills, and hills have been known to kick our butts because most of the time, we're running on totally flat ground. But this time, on the second half of our there-and-back route, we'd be jogging downhill and actually say things like, "Wow, this is great! This hill didn't seem so big when we came UP it!" Now, how crazy is that? But that's how it was.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't easy. Especially the last mile or so. It hurt, and we stopped the instant Steph's fancy-pants Garmin watched told us we'd gone 14 miles.

But it was very, very manageable. And enjoyable, even. Which was SO unexpected! Here we are - still smiling.

Soooo... after the run, we stopped in a cafe so the coffee fiends in our group could get a quick fix... we were in a hurry because Nicole had to get back for a previous commitment, but the "specials" board looked so good, and we were all so ravenous after the run, that we decided to eat there. What an excellent, excellent decision.

I ordered something called the "frooty tooty", which consisted of eggs, sausage, and pancakes packed full of fresh fruit. I added a side of hash browns and WOW. I literally squealed with delight when the food arrived. Yes, the food you see was all for me, and yes, I ate every last bite. The Garmin told us we burned something like 1700 calories on the run... and I'm pretty sure I got them all back in one fell swoop. And it was lovely.

The Last But Not Least to Post...

2009-01-12T18:33:00.000-08:00

by Stephanie

So I'm finally posting as part of this lovely group of women jogging for a JDM Cure....I don't have any unusual or compelling reasons why I haven't gotten around to it yet - just the daily life demands we all have in our own colors and flavors. We just logged our 14 mile run yesterday and I actually finished - hallelujah. Over the holiday break, I injured my ankle somehow while running and I hadn't really run in over 2 weeks. I was beginning to feel like the door was closing and I was going to get shut out of this activity and experience I had come to depend on. But then, in one of life's little twists, my ankle just stopped hurting and the door flew open and I went 14 miles.

For me, running is now not just about losing weight or getting fit. It's about things it was never about before - release and friendship, strength and good vibes, companionship and new places - all in a couple hundred or maybe thousand steps out the door. Not only do I get to feel good by helping a good friend, I get to make myself something I've never been - a real runner. I'm a single parent, so for me, these runs with my friends are the "How was your day" chats that serve as my reset button. And no matter how fast I run or how far I run, whenever I run with these women, I end up in a very good place....

Humbled

2009-01-11T05:08:00.000-08:00

by Suzy

It's early, it's dark. I've slept badly. We're running 14 miles today, and it's been on my mind for days. My last couple of short runs have felt hard, so what's 14 going to feel like? I'm GOING to do it, but I've been wondering just how uncomfortable it will be!

14 miles is longer than the actual 1/2 marathon, and it's the longest run in the training schedule. It will probably be the last time for quite a while that I will run a distance that is greater than I've ever run before. I'd been thinking that this would feel sort of sad, like a certain element of excitement to the whole running thing will be gone. And all along, I've been so happy about what a wonderful experience running has been, but also wondering just a little if I'm in some kind of "honeymoon" period - the excitement of something new - that would wear off.

So I was laying in bed awake, feeling nervous and wondering for the 100th time if my alarm had failed and I'd blown it. Then I started thinking I would just get up early and write about how I feel before this milestone. When I pulled up the blog page, I saw the little fundraising thermometer run all the way up to 93%. A new donation! I excitedly went to the FR page to check it out - and found it was from the Sherman family, with this: "We all decided to donate to Cure JM in honor of Mielle instead of getting gifts on the 8th night of Chanukah."

The Sherman family: Sherry, Jeff, Micah and Joshua. Joshua is one of Mielle's old preschool buddies. Sherry was one of the folks that stood in the blazing sun for hours haggling and selling mountains of donated merchandise when we had a fundraising yardsale over the summer. At that time, Micah and Joshua decided to donate their used toys for our yardsale, instead of holding one of their own and earning money for themselves. This is a lovely, generous, thoughtful, community-minded family.

Okay, people, I'm in tears now. I mean, honestly. That those boys would give up presents for Mielle... it's just too much.

All along I've had this sense that these friends who are running with me, and those who are supporting me in this effort, are so amazing because (after all) it's not even their kid that is sick. Now, I realize that I was wrong. Mielle may be my daughter, but she has found her way into the hearts of so many others, and she belongs to them as well.

So I say, thank you to everyone who has helped. And special thanks to the Sherman family, whose timely contribution will help inspire me get through the next 14 miles.

Now I gotta go brush teeth and get this party started. Don't want to leave the gals hanging at 6 am...

A Friendly Face

2009-01-08T12:10:00.000-08:00

by Kirsten

It is no easy thing to wake up at 5:30 a.m. each morning to run. But it’s really the only time I have to do it, so it’s that or nothing. And trust me, I need all the inspiration and positive self talk I can get to make it happen. These days, it’s the picture of Claudia dripping wet after her run that gets me out the door. I printed it out and it’s taped next to my bed. The alarm goes off and it’s dark out. And cold. And I have every excuse not to run; I have so much work, I need my rest, I ran yesterday, I *might* be getting sick, it’s cold, it’s dark, I hate running by myself; anything. But no matter how hard it is to get myself out of my warmed up bed, I have never regretted going for a run. That said, each morning, in those first minutes after the alarm goes off, I contemplate the different excuses in my mind. But then I see Claudia’s face which kind of makes me laugh. And I know that even in the dark, even if it’s raining, that’s the smile I need for the day.

What I love about running isn’t always the run itself. And it’s never the part where I have to peel the covers back. It’s the part where I’m done and I get to also offer the world, my own friendly face.

Rain? What rain?

2009-01-03T22:07:00.000-08:00

by Claudia

I may not be running the miles just yet, but I am getting my badass-points elsewhere these days (can you say "badass" on "the Internets"? I guess I just did): this morning, I got up for a 7 am run (well, I actually slept right through the alarm blaring until 7:45), got dressed and ready to head out before my husband had to go to work, all the while hoping that it would stop raining.

It just kept pouring more and more, and I was getting more and more grumpy at the thought of
a) having gotten up early for NO reason and
b) needing to run INDOORS on the treadmill, because I would otherwise have no daycare-options for the kids today

So then, while contemplating using the time to shop on the internet for a nifty little rainjacket, I decided that, really, nothing was stopping me from going out for a run.

So I dug up a stylish little waterproof potatosack-like poncho-thingie (size XL, and the equivalent of wearing a family-size tent, with no ventilation or anything) out of the bottom of the closet, threw it on and headed out the door.

After 2 blocks, I was completely drenched, water running out of my pantlegs, and gushing out of my shoes.

Since my glasses where totally wet and fogged up anyhow, I just shoved them up onto my head (car-shapes are large enough for me to be able to see, after all, and all I needed to worry about is not to be taken out in someone's driveway or while crossing the street) and kept going.
And - hey - I now could see the enormous puddles ahead of me BEFORE stepping into them (not that it wasn't already a wee bit late for that one).

Towards the end of my run, my rain-poncho was wet inside and out, and my ipod started freaking out from having gotten wet through the soaked through sleeves (the volume kept jumping from really quiet to deafeningly loud - the poor thing is sitting out to - hopefully - dry).

So there - I did it. 3 miles in the pouring rain, against headwinds, blind as a bat, and at 9.25 min/miles. I was just so happy I had gotten out after all. Nothing can stop us now.

Spectator Sport

2009-01-01T16:23:00.000-08:00

by Claudia
I have been doing a lot of "watching people run" lately: on the 9.5 mile run, my right knee started to give me some serious grief (it felt a lot like someone jamming an ice-pick into my right kneecap), so that I had to drop out after 5 miles or so.

But that's not really what I want to write about today: A few days before the beginning of Winter Break, I picked up Mielle and my daughter from School, and as we were about to leave, Mielle remembered that she had left her sweater on a bench across the schoolyard. Without hesitation, she turned around and ran - and I mean RAN - all the way across to the other side of the yard to retrieve it, and then promptly raced back. The best part was, that it was obvious she didn't give it a second thought.

I have not seen Mielle run in over a year now, and seeing this was the best gift I could have possibly received this Christmas.

12.5 Mile Mission Accomplished

2008-12-28T22:57:00.000-08:00

by Suzy

Okay, it was actually 12.6 miles. I want every inch of credit for this one because it was hard, hard, hard. I don't know if it's because we ran in the afternoon instead of our usual morning, or because I've been staying up too late doing Santa and fundraising stuff for the last week, or because I've had a cold the past several days, or because I had macaroni and cheese for lunch, or because 12.6 miles is just a really freaking long way. And of course, it doesn't really matter WHY. But it was hard.

We journeyed to San Francisco and ran along the Embarcadero, a big walkway along the bay. It was just Kirsten, Nicole, and me this time, and we figured it would be kind of quiet there late on a chilly, winter Sunday afternoon. Boy were we wrong! There were tons of people milling about, making it hard to fall into a good pace. At one point we were weaving through throngs of tourists and finally had to run along the streetcar tracks. I wish I could say that I was really zen about it, but it actually made me super cranky, and we weren't even that high up in mileage yet. Well, once we cleared the tourist zone and got to Crissy Field, closer to the Golden Gate Bridge, everything was better. The sun was setting and the light was stunningly beautiful on the water and on the bridge. I started hurting a little around that point, probably about 6 miles. Just feeling heavy and stiff. Somehow, whenever I would start thinking about it, Nicole or Kirsten would say something like "Look how beautiful it is here!" or "Isn't this light amazing!" and it would help pull me out of my head, make me look up and notice. Thanks for that, ladies!

So around 7.5 miles, at the base of the Golden Gate Bridge, we had a bathroom break and ate a couple of weird energy gummy cube things that Kirsten brought (flavors: cola and margarita. Hmmm.) We admired the view of the bridge, and the city, and marveled at the distance we'd come (we could sort of see our starting point waaaaaaaay out there in the SF skyline). Mixed blessing - because of course, we were mindful that now we had to run all that way BACK to that point in the skyline... and it looked really far away! And when we started back up again, ugh! Creaky body, heavy legs, stiff muscles. Who slipped the anvils in my shoes? I've been sick on and off ever since the last long run of 11 miles over two weeks ago, so I haven't been quite as "on it" with training lately. But still! Owie! Anyhow, after we got a little warmed up again it was better, but pretty much the rest of the time I had to just look ahead, one foot in front of the other, and for God's sake don't think about how much is left.

Mile 10.5, we stopped for a little water break and rejoiced that we only had 2 miles left. This is where I got a little whiny (I'm big enough to admit it - everything just huuuuuurt!) and Kirsten and Nicole were big enough friends to kick my butt a little (just a little, and with affection). I needed a small dose of tough love and they were there to give it to me - that's what friends are for!

Okay, "only" 2 miles to go, but man, it felt like 5. We had to navigate though the tourist zone again, although we made a detour to avoid the worst of it. Kirsten had her fancy new Garmin watch that keeps track of all your stats, and when she told me there was still 1.4 to go, I couldn't believe it! I think that is by far the loooooongest two miles I've run yet.

But, (you guessed it) we did it. Sheesh, I felt so stiff when we finished that I could hardly walk, but we did it! Of course we were super pumped, thinking that this was so close to the distance of the half marathon (it's 13.1) and we knew that we could have kept going that little bit if we had to. So we KNOW we can do it, but I couldn't help wondering (hoping) that eventually I might be able to do it with a little less discomfort!

And now that it's over, I can say thanks again to Kirsten and Nicole for another great experience! Stephanie and Claudia, we missed you on this one, dears...

Confessions of an ex-runner

2008-12-17T14:59:00.000-08:00

by Nicole
So I have to make a confession here. I'm actually not someone who has never run before. My mom, here visiting from the East Coast, is about to bust me ("Didn't you used to run five miles a day or something?" she chirped immediately), so I might as well come clean. I am, in fact, much worse than a non-runner. I am a failed runner. A runner has-been.

I ran all through high school: cross-country, indoor track, outdoor track. (Train all summer, and then repeat.) I ran all that time, and all that time I was, at best, the half-hearted runner. (Here from off-stage I hear a chorus of high-school friends, so okay, maybe I didn't exactly run "all that time," maybe at some point in my senior year I did everyone a favor and officially dropped out.) Anyway, I never really enjoyed it, all that running. I joined those teams because all my closest friends did -- and what, dear god, was I going to do after school if all of them were at the track?

I hated running so much that on those unstructured times, weekends and summers, I would procrastinate around it all day, then run at midnight.

I hated competing so much that at one point during a race, I faked an injury and got escorted, limping, to the first-aid tent. Then had to come up with realistic bruising and swelling for the next day. (Fake blood was not involved, but it might as well have been.)

I so infrequently showed up to practice that at one point, my coach was literally taking me aside every time I did. "Nicole," he would pronounce really, really slowly, as if I were perhaps just a little bit hard of hearing, "you could be a really good runner if you tried. So show up. Try." I'd nod slightly and scoot out of the room, unconvinced and unconvincing.

Then in college I fell in love.

I wandered (or was kind of nudged) into a modern dance class. And I loved it, I thought then, for all the reasons I had not loved running. I loved that it was so purely about form. Where the body goes, and when, and why. I loved that it was both logical and creative. I loved that it even at its most frustrating, when you felt the most dorky you've ever felt, it was impossible to leave class in a bad mood. And most of all, I loved that it was so complex and all-consuming, that in that hour-and-a-half or two hours of class, you absolutely couldn't be thinking about one. single. other. thing.

And running? What I would have dismissively told you until about two months ago: repetitive, mindless motion, all too often with no one to distract you but yourself. Quel horreur! Nothing but you and your thoughts and some long-ass miles ahead of you. I don't know how to put this in a way that reflects at all well, but in my teens and my twenties (and, um, a good portion of my thirties), my inner life could not be characterized as peaceful, exactly. And my outer life was in need of some, shall we say, fine-tuning. Thus: the notion of long hours alone with my thoughts? Hell. Actually.

And so here I am, in my forties, and I gotta say, I only agreed to do this run because Suzy asked me to (sheepishly, and kind of giggling, so I could take it as a joke if I wanted to), and have I mentioned that I adore Suzy? And because Mielle is so sick, and -- you gotta meet this kid -- it's been wrenching to watch and not really be able to do anything.

Nothing in me wanted to run again. You know, the actual running part. I might as well have signed up for a chess-athon, if you see what I mean.

And you know what? Well yes -- and I say this not just because I'm writing on this particular blog -- but I too am loving it. So much so that I spend a lot of those long hours pondering what has made the difference. And there are many factors. There's running for a cause: Mielle, and a cure for that shite disease. Which cause makes me, quite simply, not want to give up. Not at mile two, not at mile six, and not, most recently, at mile eleven. (Which, I gotta say, Suze and I -- woo-hoo! -- rocked.) There's running with a goal in mind: a half-marathon. In my previous runnerly incarnation, my only goals were races I really didn't care about winning. But I like long-shot goals -- becoming a professional dancer after starting at age nineteen was one of them. And running a half-marathon after not running for decades (except, in my one attempt last summer, to utterly blow out my ankle), that seemed like a stretch at best. So I kind of had to bite down on that crazy notion and not let go as well.

There's running with really good company -- and this part I do remember. Nothing like a pack of awesome girls to keep you going and keep you chatting. (Only in high school, we'd divert and run right to the local donut store. With the mamajog gang, we're tenacious about sticking to the mileage. Only after it's lattes and pain-au-chocolat, thank you very much.) Not all of us were really close or even knew each other before we started to train, but these five mamas, I gotta tell you, have logged some good miles together. I haven't really had a gal-pack for a while, since moving from the city to Alameda a couple of years ago, and I had been missing that.

There's all that other stuff too, that we all know but, damn, who has the time to pay attention to. Energy. (I don't wilt at four pm every afternoon anymore.) Muscles. (I have them again.) Air. (It feels really nice to breathe it in.) Intangibles. (A friend just glanced at me as we were picking up our kids from kindergarten, and she literally did a little mini-double-take. "Not that you looked bad before," she began delicately, "but you look great -- and completely different since you started running.") So. What could be more gratifying than all that, two kids and forty-two years later?

But -- what of those weekdays where it's just me and the hard road and the endless miles? (Yeah, well, you all see this coming. But I didn't.) Yup, there it is: I love the time alone with my thoughts. Even the difficult thoughts. Because hey, I have two small children, mulling is a privilege nowadays. And maybe, just maybe, I'm liking what I'm finding, in there. Or at least I'm interested enough to want to know more.

So -- four miles to go. Perfect. Just right.

11 Mile Mission Accomplished

2008-12-10T22:01:00.001-08:00

by Suzy
Today it was just Nicole and me. Just so happens that neither of us can make it on Sunday for the regularly-scheduled long run, so we found the only alternate time that would work for us both - 7 am on Wednesday - because neither of us had any desire to tackle 11 miles, for the very first time, all alone!

It's so strange how different things are from run to run. I wrote about how 9.5 miles turned out to be such a great run, and not actually that painful at all. Well, we both felt immediately that today would be different, but we both kept mum about it for quite a while. Since it was just the two of us, we able to enjoy a couple of really long, meaty conversations, the type we normally never get to have in an uninterrupted fashion. It was lovely, despite the feeling that I was dragging a couple pieces of lead along with me on this run.

We did our best to just keep putting one foot in front of the other and not think about, or talk about how hard things felt... and eventually we made it. We were pretty much totally spent, but we made it. It's a great feeling to think that we are now within striking distance of the actual 1/2 marathon distance - it's not some distant, future thing anymore - we just did eleven, and lived to tell the tale! To think we only started a couple of months ago...

11 miles down. Next long run, 12.5! (gulp!)

To the rest of Team Mielle - good luck on Sunday and we can't wait to hear how 11 goes for you ladies!

Sunday mornings, revised

2008-12-05T17:11:00.000-08:00

by Claudia
When Suzy told me about her running-idea (you know, the "uhmmmm, I am thinking about doing this...ehhhhm...(mumblemumble) Half-Marathon-kind-of-thing for Mielle"), my first thought was: "I want to do this with you!" Then again - this was immediately followed by "I am NOT a runner, there's just no way can I do this".

The last time I ran was in high-school, and all I remember is that I'd usually give up about 15-20 Minutes in, with painful stitches in my sides, totally out of breath, and redfaced like a fresh-cooked lobster. Needless to say: the running-thing didn't really grow on me back then, and I hadn't ever given it a second thought since. Running just wasn't for me.

On the flipside, the thought of being able to actively do something to help Mielle just made me so happy, how could I pass up this opportunity?

After sitting on this for about a week, and having a lot of back-and-forth arguments with myself about the question of whether I could even think about trying to do this, I decided to do a little "test-run" at the Gym to see if I would fall off the treadmill after 1/2 mile.

To my immense surprise, I was able to make it through 4 miles without too much pain, and at a reasonable speed. That gave me the courage to try again a few days later (this might have been just a fluke, after all), and I made it again.

So the following Sunday, I dared to join the running team for a (gulp) 6.5 mile run, and told myself that I could always walk back after 3 or 4 if it got too tough (did I mention that I never ran on the street before??). I made it. That made me curious: if I could do 6.5 miles, maybe I could do 8? Who knew? So 2 weeks later, I joined in for the 8-miler, and....made that one, too!

I guess that now, I will have to completely revise the picture of myself that I have in my head: I found that not only CAN I RUN, but I also greatly enjoy it, when I have good company. I have been finding out even more things along the way that really surprised me: I actually ENJOY running and chatting with these great women at 7:30 am on a Sunday morning, even though I am not at all a morning-person and usually need my coffee and a 1/2 hour of complete quiet and solitude before I am ready to face the new day.

Sunday is the one day I might get to sleep in a little (my husband works Saturdays, so this is the only chance we get during the week to stay in bed a little longer)....but the world looks beautiful at 7:30 am. The air smells good. The light is so pretty. And making it past the finish-line for the day's run and high-fiving each other because of it, and feeling so proud of ourselves that we made it is just priceless.

I am grateful for having joined this really really kind and supportive group of women to run with (it's actually their encouraging cheers that got me going past the 4 miles, as well as their funny-crack-up stories), who make me want to roll out of bed at the crack of dawn on a Sunday to run around town. By the way, who would have thought you could run and talk at the same time?

So here it is, my personal theme for the year 2008: don't listen to that crabby little voice inside that tells you you can't do something. Because you never know.....

Turkey Trot!

2008-12-04T19:46:00.000-08:00

On Thanksgiving, Kirsten, Steph and I ran the Turkey Trot through Golden Gate Park in San Francisco (Claudia was out with the flu, and Nicole was nursing a tender ankle). It's a 5-mile trail run with an emphasis on fun - people dressed up like pilgrims, etc. (although there was fairly hardcore group of competitors up at the front, as we quickly discovered.)

For Steph and me, it was our first race ever. Kirsten is the seasoned pro in our group, so this was old hat for her. Anyhow, we bought some Nike headbands, glue-gunned some feathers to the back, and made up some special Mielle T-shirts (THANK YOU BILLY, for the awesome design and the hours spent crafting them). Here we are, pre-race:

Right before the race began, we made a last-minute dash to the port-a-potties, which were located just beyond the starting point. So, in our rush to get back into the group before the starting horn sounded, we found ourselves right in the front of the pack with all the really serious, and seriously buff runners. Needless to say, the instant the horn blew, Steph and I got totally dusted, but Kirsten was swept away with the crowd and ended up keeping pace with that front group the whole race. Badass!

Here we are, less than halfway - Kirsten first, Steph and me far, far behind. Note the turkey head on the woman behind Kirsten... we are SO getting those hats for next year!

This race was mostly all trail and meadow, with a few small hills. Nothing major, but enough to kick our butts just a little. We mostly train on totally flat ground - what a difference a few little hills make!

Okay, here we are crossing the finish.

Note Kirsten smoking that gal behind her. Note that I TOTALLY smoked that lady with the jogging stroller - hee-yah! And Stephanie rocked the race despite a cold that was dragging her down...

I found my girl for a post-race hug, which was obviously way more satisfying for me than it was for her.

And the highlight of the day... after a long and sort of droning and tedious award ceremony, there was a raffle... and guess who won? Kirsten won a whole freakin' turkey dinner! (Uncooked, sadly...) And me, I won a pie. We totally freaked out with excitement and made big spectacles of ourselves. But honestly - a pie! (Never mind that I had baked two of them the previous day). WINNING a pie ROCKS under any circumstances.

So, who's joining us next year? ; )

That wasn't there before

2008-12-03T13:21:00.001-08:00

by Suzy
I was putting some lotion on my legs last night, and when I pivoted my foot in a certain way I noticed this big hard lump of a muscle on my calf. Sweet.

9.5 Mile Mission Accomplished

2008-12-02T21:32:00.000-08:00

by Suzy
Yup, we did it. Well, most of us did. Claudia got knocked out with a knee issue but as a consolation prize struck up a friendship with two 75-year-old gents she met on the trail.

Here we are, arriving in the wee hours on Sunday morn.

We are so blessed to have such lovely places to run. Nicole had mapped out a loop-dee-loop run that was almost entirely along the bay or the tree-lined estuary. Lovely, and not too painful. We were all pleasantly surprised at how UN-painful this run was (all except Claudia, of course!).

Here we are after the run:

We didn't have anyone to take the pic so we had to do two. I need to dig out this hilarious photo accessory called the ultrapod. My husband mocked me mercilessly when I bought it years ago, but it's a cool little thing that lets you strap your camera to a tree or whatever for self-timer shots. It is AWESOME!!

Next long run? 11 miles....

Give a Little, Get a Little

2008-12-01T13:17:00.000-08:00

by Kirsten
One of the reasons I’ve picked running back up is that I have two kids. And a husband. And with them come baggage; real baggage. I’m always hauling around something now--a diaper bag, a computer bag, groceries, kids, worries. In the daily grind of life and agendas and deadlines and all the things I pack in bags and cars for “just in case,” there is very little that is more nourishing for me than putting on my running shoes and just heading out in the dark dawn. No watch, no diapers, no sippie cup, no snacks, I just head out to nowhere in particular, with no particular goal. Generally I run about an hour and I usually run the same course everyday. I don’t like to think too hard about it. I don’t need it to be any great experience. Just getting out, being alone, being free, this is the great experience for me. It never really gets old.

So while I didn’t hesitate for a second when Suzy asked if I might like to run with her for the upcoming ½ marathon in Carlsbad to help raise money for CureJM, I was nervous about widening my circle of one. Because if there is one other reason I run, it’s that running is the one thing I get to be totally selfish about. I do it on my time, at my pace, in my way. This is a 100% contrast to how I live the rest of my life. There are places I have to be, responsibilities I am accountable to. All day long. But running is all mine and I don’t like sharing it. So while I didn’t hesitate, I was a bit worried that I’d opened up my slightly sacred relationship with running in a careless and perhaps dangerous way.

Two months and 5 people later, it turns out I was right to be worried—yet totally wrong. Emails about whatever upcoming run we have that weekend fly around all week long. One person has to run early, another person doesn’t want to run that early, this person isn’t feeling great and might skip out, that person is suggesting a new run that no one else wants to do. And it starts to drive me completely nuts. And I start to get annoyed that the one thing I like to do because of how easy it is, is getting so complicated and I think about maybe just skipping the logistical acrobatics and just go it alone. But the emails keep on coming. We’re all moms and we all work and we all are in this to support Suzy and we all really enjoy the long weekend runs, so we keep the emails going until we decide on a time and a place.

The time and place are basically never my first choice. But I show up because I don’t want to admit to being such a big selfish jerk as to rather run alone that have to accommodate anyone. It’s early Sunday morning. If there is one common sentiment it is that none of us would be there except for how hard we all worked to ensure everyone could be there. There is a flurry of hugs and morning chatter as well as a palpable sense of dread and excitement about the miles that lie ahead.

Before we’re even stretching I’m a little humbled by the pink morning sky, the quiet November light over the bay, and these women with whom I’m laughing and am so grateful for. And as we take our first steps I’m once again reminded that just getting out, being alone with my friends, being free, this is the great experience for me. It never really gets old.

9.5 miles tomorrow!

2008-11-29T20:46:00.000-08:00

by Suzy
We're following a training schedule to prepare us for the race at the end of January, and basically it goes like this: 2-3 short runs over the course of the week, and an ever-longer long run every other weekend. Technically, you're also supposed to cross train and whatnot on the non-running days... hmmm, does picking up a toddler 400 times per day count? If so, I'm golden!

So far we've conquered the 4-, 6.5-, and 8-mile long runs. Tomorrow we are getting together bright and early for the next frontier, 9.5 freaking miles. For 4 out of 5 of us, each long run represents the farthest we have EVER RUN BEFORE. And this is actually quite an intense feeling!

Kirsten (she's the one that has actually run a marathon and a bunch of other races already) was chatting with me about this, and she made a good point. Each time you run farther than you ever have before, it's like venturing into completely unknown territory. What might happen? Who knows? Maybe you'll spontaneously combust, or turn invisible, or enter a parallel universe. I mean, honestly, anything is possible, right, when you make your body do something it's never ever done before!

So each long run is kind nerve-wracking, but very exciting. In the day or two before 6.5 miles, I got so nervous I couldn't even sleep. But that went fine, so I felt a little more chill about 8 miles. And that went fine. Now we find ourselves at 9.5, which is awfully darn close to 10, which seems like an awfully big number. I'm not nervous in the same way that I was, but I'm getting a little bit of anxiety about the physicality of it - the question, will my body actually do this?

So far I love running, way more than I ever dreamed possible, and I want to keep on doing it for a long time to come. I'm being careful, but I also feel like there is an element of luck to whether one can maintain running without injury. So far, I've been lucky... but will it last?

Fear

2008-11-28T14:49:00.000-08:00

by Suzy
So I had this tiny little glimmer of an idea to run, and then BAM! Instantly came the fear.

So many fears. Fear of taking on one more responsibility when I already felt drowning in responsibility. Fear that I might actually have bad knees, and be physically unsuited to running. Fear of telling the world and then feeling foolish if it didn't work out. Simply put, fear of failing (with some additional fear around how such a failure might damage my already fragile emotional state).

For a long time, a couple of weeks, I told no one about my idea. I just thought about it. I honestly couldn't tell if it was the best idea ever, or the worst idea ever - but I was pretty sure it was one or the other.

Finally, I told my husband. It sounded something like this: Umm, I kind of have this crazy idea, oh I don't know, it's really weird, you see Cure JM does this run and umm... I was sort of thinking about maybe, oh I don't know, possibly thinking about ummm trying to maybe, uh, try to run the half marathon. I could barely even speak the words; I mumbled, I blushed. It was just so far outside of the way I see myself in the world. But hubby understood, and was supportive.

I continued to mull it over. Finally, I composed an email to two fabulous friends, Kirsten and Steph. I knew that they ran, and in fact Kirsten had invited me to try running with her a month prior to all of this. (Which is actually very significant because if Kirsten hadn't extended that invitation, I'm not sure if my glimmer of an idea would have been sparked at all.) Anyhow, I wrote an email describing my idea to run, and then my finger hovered over the "send" key. I hesitated a long time because I knew that sending that email meant I was making a commitment; I knew that they would be completely enthusiastic, and would sweep me up and off we'd go.

Which is exactly what happened. Very soon, Stephanie took me to a good running store (See Jane Run) to buy proper shoes. I felt dorky and self conscious in the store. When asked whether I was training for a particular event, or just casually running, I gave a long, rambling, incoherent answer... well, uh, I'm not really sure, I mean you know, uh, I'm thinking of maybe trying to try a (ahem) half (cough) marathon, but I've never, umm, you know, run, and I really don't know... and on and on. So embarrassing.

A few days after that, I laced up those shoes and went for my first run. I ran for 17 minutes - didn't want to overdo it! - and again, felt incredibly dorky and self conscious the entire time. Like everyone could take one look and tell that I was a faker, that I didn't have a clue what I was doing.

I know it probably seems silly that I felt so excruciatingly awkward about something as simple and commonplace as running, but for me, this was stepping far out of my comfort zone, far out of my own idea of who I am.

The Idea

2008-11-28T14:48:00.000-08:00

by Suzy
First, I had an idea. And then, I was afraid.

The idea was this: to train and run a 1/2 marathon (13.1 miles) to raise awareness and funds for research into juvenile dermatomyositis, a terrible autoimmune disease that affects 3 children out of a million. A disease that affects my daughter.

Here's the backstory. Mielle was diagnosed nearly a year prior... so it had been months of doctor appointments, blood draws, and incredibly intense medications - steroids, chemotherapy, and others - with incredibly intense side effects - weight gain, moodiness and rage. At first she got better, but several months in she relapsed. She was getting worse again. We were panicked. We lost faith in her doctor. We found a new one, and Mielle started intravenous steroid treatments and weekly injections. She kicked and screamed herself hoarse with every poke of the needle.

Finally, finally, things began to turn around. Mielle improved. The new regime of meds was working. We were able to pull back on her steroid dose, ever so slowly, and the side effects began to decrease, ever so slowly. Things were going in a good direction.

And then I got an email from Shari Hume, co-founder of Cure JM, a parent and grandparent-led organization that funds research into this disease, and provides critical information and support to families like ours. In Shari's email, she asked me to consider participating in a run.

Cure JM is an invaluable resource for us in SO many ways. I already knew that the Carlsbad marathon was their major fundraising event. And in the past, I thought about running, and dismissed the idea... Yeah, I'll raise money, but I won't run. I CAN'T run. I mean, I have bad knees... I'm sure I do. (Not that I'd ever actually tried to run, mind you.) I really never gave it more thought than that. I'm no athlete. I'm not a runner; I don't run.

But somehow, on that particular day, for whatever reason, a little glimmer of a possibility flickered. Maybe I could run. Maybe I SHOULD run. Dealing with this disease had taken a huge emotional toll. Maybe running would help me cope. Maybe running would make me feel like something positive could come out of this ordeal, that one can be strong in the face of adversity. Maybe, by running, I could show Mielle that she is loved and supported beyond measure; that anything is possible; that SHE can do anything, in spite of this disease. Maybe...